[2797] Thawing of intangible icicles (updated critique list)

Edit: I had to update my critique list with a new critique

Hello,

This is an excerpt of the short novel I'm writing. I would appreciate all thoughts and suggestions (constructive criticism) about my piece:

Please let me know:

• what you thought of the characters/character dynamics conversation
• what you want to know more about
• how my descriptions/writing can be improved
• what felt lacking that might be needed (emotions, more description, clunkiness, etc.)
• anything else you noticed worthy of critiquing.

Excerpt

Critiques:

[2926]

[2216]

Context:

Genre: Sci-Fi/Fantasy (though this excerpt doesn't really cover that at all)

!The excerpt centers around a high school student named Gayatri that has been uprooted from her hometown to Phoenix, Arizona during her senior year and is struggling academically, mentally, and socially. She works at a Yoga studio part-time, and suffers bullying from classmate, particularly a kid named Duc, but usually gets by engrossing herself into studying. A couple days ago, Duc attempted to lash out physically at Gayatri when she ignored his bullying attempts, and a kid named Keller who Gayatri knew was learning Tae Kwon Do at a building near the Yoga studio defended her by punching Duc in the face. He got suspended for it, and when that happened, Gayatri criticized Keller for getting involved, while Keller admonished Gayatri for her non-confrontation. A couple days later, Gayatri feels guilty for Keller's suspension and wonders what can be done to stop Duc. !<