Source
r/OCPoetry•
SpringtimeMoonlight

Enough. (a very simple style I'm trying... but is it TOO simple?)

Poem

"You know what I do on my bad days?"
I ask my friend with nothing more to offer.

She breathes through tears, "What?"

"I get myself a soda. I love soda."

"I wish my bad days could be that easily fixed."

"Oh no," I tell them, "It doesn't fix anything,
the bill collectors still beat down my door,
the cats still puke up hairballs on my clothes,
and work still emails me impossible tasks,

the check engine light still blinks red,
the ceiling still starts dripping rain,
the doctors still have bad news to tell,
my heart still breaks when my ex leaves,
and I still crack whole egg cartons on the floor,

but then I have a bad day

                      ... and I have a soda,

and sometimes, that's still winning.

Sometimes, that's enough."

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::Reviews::

  1. The writer : OCPoetry (reddit.com)

  2. My No. 1 : OCPoetry (reddit.com)

Posted Apr 3, 2023, 7:59 PM UTC

47
1oz9999finequeefs•

I love this. I had the same feeling today having an ice cream cone. All my problems are still there… but I feel better for awhile

3
Avignon1996•

It's not too simple at all. I have no feedback to offer otherwise. I'm having a tough day and this made me cry because it sounds like something my grandmother would say.

3
Trazaren•

Nah, it's not too simple, since you're still using some rhetoric figures. I love how you picture the soda as something kind of neutral. It may be an unhealthy distraction from the outside world, from my point of view. I mean, is a soda really enough? I think it can't be. At least deep down you still dislike the same annoying world you describe. Great poem tho.

2
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1
inexplicably-hairy•

simple is good, and this is a good example of that.

1
Valhallatchyagirl•

IT IS DONE!

I hope you enjoy it!

Thanks for your patience, and it is linked in my profile with credit : )

1
SpringtimeMoonlightOP•

I LOVE IT!!!! You got the whole vibe down perfectly!

2