[1945] The Cult of Computer

Hi all, this is a repost after fixing a formatting issue with my document. All should be good and coherent now! (Flair has disappeared for some reason, the genre is Science Fiction Dystopia.)

Here's an excerpt of chapter one of a science fiction dystopia novel i've been working on for a while. This is actual the third iteration of this story i have written. I keep changing big elements of the story which always leads me to starting from scratch, so i thought it would be productive to get some feedback from people to see if i'm going in the correct direction.Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wpHrOZZ9OzbC7oh3ckgm9Z4T5olJ_c_jqknxZ2oNFIs/edit?usp=share_link

Also, here's the blurb for clarity (hidden if you would prefer to read the excerpt first to inform your critique):

!"In the year 2040, a separatist movement rises to challenge the authority of the British government and monarchy. Meanwhile, renegade environmental monitoring robots unleash a labyrinthine network of fractal wires beneath the earth called leywires, capable of weaving reality itself. !<

!Two decades later, the seeds of rebellion sprout as independent military forces reclaim the nation from a passive central government, vying to squash the separatists once and for all and reinstate the monarchy under the auspices of the former King's Grandson. But their triumph is short-lived, as the colossal robots re-emerge, towering over their human counterparts with unparalleled strength, inflicting global devastation by expelling their fellow inhabitants from their rightful lands. These modular giants claim to be governed by AxeEarth, an ancient combat sport facilitated through the mycological network, where teams of three must strike opponents down to claim to strategic bases on a four quadrant grid overlaid upon the earth to access the leywires' power!<

!Against this backdrop, three disparate characters across the UK— the prince-elect, the son of a separatist revolutionary, and a military general in training— shun their conventional paths to navigate the perilous game of AxeEarth, determined to wield the leywires' power to protect their loved ones. Yet, the far-reaching power of the leywires beguiles more than just the robots, and all three boys soon find themselves embroiled in a battle of values against their fellow humans, struggling against the unchecked might of the deadly game." !<A small spoiler: >!The military general in training is in fact Daniel, the narrator of this excerpt. The twist at the end of chapter (not in this excerpt) will introduce both Daniel and the audience to the military coup, as the job he is interviewing for has added a newly created military branch that he is specifically recruited for.!<I would also like general feedback, but the main elements I want addressed are:

• Is the narrator's philosophising too distracting, or does it make him engaging as a narrator?
• Is the worldbuilding distinct enough to be set in 2060, aka the near future?
• Do you feel immersed in the setting?
• Do you feel a suspense building through the chapter for a big reveal? (not included in the excerpt)

My critiques:Never have I ever [1858]https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/13dxirn/comment/jjnaeqt/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/13dxirn/comment/jjrx1l6/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3

Maganti Steel [1144]https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/13a7n6v/comment/jjd25gz/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3

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Thanks!