Source
r/OCPoetry•
Fine_Try8373

Adolescent whispers

Poem

I’ve heard what they have said

I’ve felt it

Felt the words course through our body like venom

Thickening our blood

Felt the eyes searing judgment in our skin

Branding us like cattle ready for mincing

It hurts

I remember the smell of our flesh

What it felt like to be wasted

Left in the sun to rot

Denied the chance to nourish bodies

Wondering what the reason was

Begging for the pain to be explained…

It hurt

And I cried

And You cried

And Then We cried

Simply Because..

It hurt

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/13sm39v/troops/jlrmzfi/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/13st5hp/to_feel_broken_now/jlro68r/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3

Posted May 27, 2023, 12:50 AM UTC · edited

62
cactiss•

I really like how simple this poem is. You express so much emotion and story in so little words. It does leave me curious to know what negative remark was said! Furthermore, I think the rhythm is very effective. I really like how you broke up the last part starting at "it hurt". This was lovely to read. Great job :)

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