[2349] (Part 2/3) White Summer

Hello! This is the second part of my first attempt at historical fiction.

Some context (first third of the story): Laifu owns a tailor's shop and works with his younger sister, Haizheng, who is 17 years old. The story is framed in-media-res.

In “present time,” Laifu is awaiting a ship at the harbor. We find out that Haizheng committed suicide and a man named Yiming has something to do with that.

In the main story, Haizheng meets Yiming and becomes romantically involved with him. In the last scene of that excerpt, she is on the verge of spilling her baggage to Laifu when the creditor arrives. He tells that man “One moment,” intending to briefly explain to Haizheng that they can talk later, but she slams the door on him.

Questions:

- Does the portrayal of opioid use/addiction feel authentic?

- How is the tension? If you were a casual reader, is there a point where you would walk away?

Thanks!

Story: https://docs.google.com/document/d/10ADDk96KOj7mDxyoFobBg0jcDBI18-L51v5RtYnsF9M/edit

Critique: [3531] Coal at the Crossroads: https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/14cvkv1/3531_coal_at_the_crossroads_part_12/

Edit: Critique #2: [1000 left] The Edge of the Aunnan: https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/14cvldf/1464_the_edge_of_the_aunnan/