[4440] Dreams' Graveyard (2nd version)

Psychological Horror

Hi, I got all the feedback and made my story clearer and better. I hope that people who stopped reading after the first paragraph last time can enjoy this new version.

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As always my questions are:

  1. Is everything clear?

  2. What do you think the main theme is?

  3. What do you think of the hook?

  4. Are there any glaring mistakes in grammar?

  5. Are some sentences hard to read?

  6. How is the pacing of the story?

  7. Any other kind of mistake you could spoAny help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.

Trigger warning: Self-harm

Dreams Graveyard Version 2: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1xuwsLt5bdEPJAQ6WvjjmBXLDD54yL-s-XKeVSIZd7r0/edit?usp=sharing

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Past critiques: 2468; 2403; 1195

Posted Aug 21, 2023, 12:47 PM UTC

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