[2102] Laser's Saviours

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-AEIIxiYNEDOMZ8RiCBsb3Xegr9OjE5TuM33z5mYDo0/edit?usp=sharing

The story is set in the future. It's about a man who builds laser guns for superheroes who wants to fly to a foreign buffet with his flatmate during their time off work. The trajectory of the story will be 3 characters going from airport to airport, talking and getting into low stakes drama in the first act, sci-fi action in the rising action, and full on crime drama by the end.

I posted pieces of my story before, but it was missing certain issues with character motivation and stuff, so I've reworked the first chapter to be more focused. The whole 20 chapters + prologue I plan to draw, so my quotations and descriptions aren't the best, fair warning.

Critique I'm mainly looking for: I want to know if it's interesting enough/how to make it more captivating. Guidance for pace, tone, plot thoughts, etc, you know the rest. How do I keep you from putting it down?

Critiques:

Harvest Blessing [3836]

Smile... [2429]
Spy of the Mind [2690]