[2340] Valistry - Chapter 1 (3rd Revision)

Hopefully, third time's the charm when it comes to this. Previous critique here. Once again received some great feedback, which amounted to (1) give a deeper dive of my lead character’s, well, character; (2) fix up diction; and (3) keep cleaning up at the sentence level.

"VALISTRY" is an Adult science fantasy novel. Long after a godlike lifeform terraforms Earth into the Norse-inspired 9 Realms, an upstart protector of peace named Shukari tries to unmask who or what afflicted her parents (and others) with a condition that left them in tortuous stasis.

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Crit 1 2078

Crit 2 1043