[3320] The Halfway Inventor

This is a self-contained story which I've edited several times and still feel like something's lacking. Feel free to be as harsh or blunt as you wish, I don't mind. You can even call me names; I won't care, but the mods probably will, so actually I wouldn't recommend it still.

Story Link

After you read, I have some specific questions that you can choose to answer or not, up to you.

• Do I go too much into detail describing the inventions? I wanted to show that they both have an engineering mindset, but I didn't want to bore the reader with details.

• Is the idea of Mr. Fitzwalter being "the halfway inventor" clear?

• When did you realize that Ben is pretending to be an inspector? I worry it was too obvious.

• Also, you know... is this story actually interesting, for something so low stakes?

I know 3.3k words is a lot, so hopefully these crits are enough to justify it.

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