[2474] The Poisoned Rod, Chapter 1

Chapter 1

This is the current opening chapter of my fantasy novel(s). I've rewritten it so many times that my objectivity is gone. The story isn't YA even though the opening protagonist is a 16-year-old girl. I'm curious to know if her world is intriguing, if the exposition is too much, and if so, which sections to cut. I fear I may have over-edited to the point that the flow is gone. (Beginnings are not my strength.)

Thank you in advance to anyone who reads the chapter. The basic premise of the book is this: For centuries, mystics have manipulated a poisoned flower to reveal visions of the future to a worthy few. In the fumes of the Rod, the newly crowned King of Terria sees the destruction of his kingdom. It falls upon his closest friend and ally to unravel the vision and discover the source of the calamity.

Critique 1

Critique 2