[2500] Harbor Springs Hotel

Link to story:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XmJtjyJrXD-IjcjhhtnVB-DKPwTwNOqaC9uu4VvgMHM/edit?usp=sharing

It's part of a larger narrative. Trying to make second person/present tense work as a "lens for self-narration". "Personal rules" for punctuation / grammar.

This whole chapter is 7200 words long, so maybe we'll get there over a week or so?
I'd label this book as semi-autobiographical/picaresque/bildungsroman (primary tags).
I really need to get over myself and just post something, anything. Mods, please be gentle, I put my heart and soul into my critiques as well. Here they are btw critique 1 (1728) & critique 2 (1216)

I'm looking for *any* kind of critique. There is no discernible plot, so I'm mostly looking for your opinion on the characters, humor and action/dynamics.