[QCrit] MG Fantasy - MONTABELLE MANSION (50K/Fifth attempt)
Big thanks to everyone who has helped me come this far. Hopefully it's improved and can still get better!
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Dear (editor’s name),
I hope you might consider my 50,000 word middle grade fantasy, MONTABELLE MANSION. Combining magic and mischief with the real life troubles of accepting oneself, fans of Unseen Magic by Emily Lloyd-Jones and The Memory Spinner by C.M Cornwell may enjoy my book.
When eleven-year-old Roz speaks, little coincidences happen like magic. Not that it ever helps with anything important, like Mom always being busy at work, or bringing Dad back. Even Christmas doesn’t go her way–Mom finally has time off, but goodie two-shoes, tattling, mom-stealing cousin Horatio is coming for the holidays, leaving Roz feeling like a third wheel in her own living room.
What should’ve been a silent night takes a horrific turn when a beast breaks into the house and steals Mom away. With no adults believing her, Roz takes the situation into her own hands. She tracks the beast to Montabelle Mansion, the maze-like home of a family who vanished ten years ago, and a place Mom never wanted to talk about.
The rescue mission becomes a quest for survival when Roz–and tag-along Horatio–discover the missing family still inside, doomed to serve the dangerous witch who cursed them. Now the cousins are trapped, too. To find Mom and escape, Roz and Horatio must reconcile their differences while seeking a magic brooch lost in the mansion’s enchanted rooms, and Roz will need all the help she can get. Whether it’s facing winding Victorian halls, storybook pirates come to life, or stacks of tripleberry pancakes made by an invisible cook, Roz is determined to get her quality time with Mom–even if it means going toe to toe with a curse-crazy witch.
Posted Jun 11, 2026, 2:31 AM UTC