Hi all,
Me and my wife are considering having our first child.
I was wanting to read up on various aspects of parenting so I figured that you would all have some good suggestions.
I'm after books on what to expect, changes in lifestyle, personal stories, health issues etc etc.
Thanks in advance
Posted Mar 24, 2014, 4:03 AM UTC
[deleted]
My wife and I read Babywise. It's not the newest parenting book out there. It emphasizes that the child is not the center of the family. It also advocates using scheduling to get the child into a routine, which we have found very effective.
Babywise is very controversial (I think because many people don't implement it using common sense and then a few terrible stories make their way into the news.) The Baby Whisperer and Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child that I listed in my other comment supposedly follow a more toned down version. Anyway, everyone I know who has used BabyWise have amazing, happy, healthy, chubby, smart, well rested babies (and they are by far the happiest parents I know.) I think this lady describes really well how most people implement it effectively: http://www.delightfulmomstuff.com/2012/02/newborn-sleeping-through-night.html
Good point. We did not implement everything the book said.
In my experience, no single parenting book can provide everything you want to know. Further, every parenting book has sections that make you say "I would never do that with my child".
i read a bunch when my kids were babies. 90% of them are useless.
no 2 babies are alike. it's more or a hands on learning situation.
don't be afraid to make mistakes and enjoy the experience. you will miss it when they are older.
We really liked Bringing up Bebe and Moms on Call. Using those two books as our guides our LO was sleeping through the night at about 6 weeks old.
I just finished Parenting Without Boarders and really enjoyed it. I have also read and enjoyed Raising Bebe. I also read/used Sleep Easy Solutions, Baby Massage, and Baby Yoga. Books I plan on reading next are: Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood, How to talk so that kids listen and how to listen so that kids talk, and Baby Meets World. I can raid my book shelf for other titles, but it is 4:50 am and I am cuddling/burping my 2 mos old. You can also watch the Super Nanny shows.
To best understand what to explect, may I suggest to talk and hang out with other people with children. Ask questions and keep asking several people/forums several times. Answers change depending on current situations (lack of sleep, current stage of child). Hopefully people will be honest and open to you. Also talk to your medical care - what suport do they provide? Understand that parenting is challenging, dynamic and there is no 'right' way. Relax. Take in information, but create your own experience. Becoming parents does change your life, but you can still do most of the same things with planning (ie making sure the little ones are cared for).
For me, it is great. Difficult, challenging, overwhelming joy and pride. I have personally grown and will continue to as I question, evaluate and reflect on my self and my parenting. My children make me a better human.
Good luck and take care.
Not all of these are "parenting" books, but they get at various aspects of what you might be looking for/need to help you prepare (in no particular order):
Bringing up Bebe - Tells the parenting story of an American expat. living in Paris, and how she observed different parenting techniques between American and French families, and how that plays out in children's behavior. It is a fun "experience" story and I think it lends some interesting insights.
Pregnancy, childbirth, and the newborn - I think this is the most informative, neutral, pregnancy book out there. It really tries to present all sides of any issues. I can't recommend this book enough. From here, you could explore the options that best fit your needs (e.g. natural birth, etc.)
Taking Charge of Your Fertility - Look into this if you find you are having trouble conceiving, or if you want to conceive right away. Really great tips on monitoring the body to pinpoint the most fertile times and stay healthy before becoming pregnant.
The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding - This is published by Le Leche League and really has everything you need to know about breastfeeding, pumping, etc. After baby is born, kellymom.com is a good resource for quickly referring to for breastfeeding questions later, but seriously don't skip this book - it is great!
Dr. Spock's Baby and Childcare - Really comprehensive and probably the most widely read book about every aspect of child health and development (and also a lot of what to expect as parents.)
NurtureShock - by far the most interesting book I've ever read in my life. Basically sums up research on child development to illuminate how many parents and educators ignore research based evidence on what works well for raising children. If you read nothing else in this book, at least read the sleep chapter!
What's Going on in There? - This book was written by a neuroscientist after becoming a mom about brain development from pregnancy through about age 5. It has some of the same research as NurtureShock but goes way more in depth. I found it fascinating, but warning, I could see how it could scare some people with how much detail it goes into (like how many people feel that "What to Expect When Expecting" is scary.)
Happiest Baby on the Block - There is a book, but really you can/should just watch the DVD. It has 5 very specific techniques for calming a fussy baby. Here are some recent reddit comments about it. Someday I will buy Dr. Karp a drink - love that man!
The Wholesome Baby Food Guide - this book is based on a website which has some of the same information, but the book goes way more in depth about how to introduce food, with particular steps, to set baby up for a lifetime of good (non picky) eating habits.
A variety of sleep books, so you can decide which method you might be comfortable with (I believe the Baby Whisperer and Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child are pretty middle of the road, but you can look into bedsharing (The Dr. Sear's books) or the other end (Babywise) as discussed in other comments already here, etc. - these last two links I am letting my personal bias show - sorry, but I just think it is good to know all sides of an issue.)
Huffington Post Parents section often has "experience" articles, and browsing subs like this can help with that too.
A lot of people love the Bill Cosby Fatherhood book too, but my husband and I haven't read it, so I can't say for sure what is in it, but I imagine it is "experiences" based
The Wonder Weeks - describes when and how babies reach developmental milestones, what to expect from those, and how to help your baby with them.
Edit: I wanted to add brief descriptions and links (I was on my phone yesterday when I posted this.) I also added in the last book listed.
I have literally read hundreds of parenting/child dev. books. I consider these to be the best of the best in terms of books that cover each of their respective topics in depth, from almost all perspectives, in as neutral of a way as possible, so that you can then make decisions about which more extreme (I don't mean that in a bad way) parenting styles might work for you and your family (e.g. attachment parenting, natural vs. medicated birth, etc.)