Found on Facebook. But muffins *aren't* healthy... Who actually thinks muffins are healthy?
Posted Jun 9, 2014, 12:26 AM UTC
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muffins are cake. They are secret cake masquerading as an acceptable breakfast choice.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-o-u4IwXkbE&feature=kp
Jump to 0:30.
"You know the difference between a muffin and cake? Nothing. A muffin is a bald cupcake and we know it."
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I love Gaffigan! I'm always quoting this line to my muffin-loving family.
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Anyway, so I was coming along here, and I felt like a piece of cake, you know? But then I thought, it's morning, I should really have a muffin. I like those chocolate chip ones. Then I figured, well, they're really both cake. So I, uh, I sat on that bench for a little while, twenty minutes or an hour, and then I figured, check and see what you were up to.
—George Costanza, "The Pothole," Seinfeld, 2/27/1997
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Where the fuck is a muffin an "acceptable breakfast choice"?
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There are no healthy or unhealthy foods, only healthy and unhealthy amounts. For example a muffin for a breakfast treat once a fortnight is perfectly healthy. You eat 5000kcal of Kale then you're going to be unwell (though that would take some doing).
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Don't you fatshame me for eating 22 lbs of kale for breakfast
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That would equal 4851 calories
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I feel sorry for that toilet.
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The lone voice of reason in this thread seems to go largely unnoticed.
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I can only imagine the Ragnarok that would become your colon after eating 5000 calories worth of kale...
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Good on you for using fortnight. That word is well past due for a comeback.
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I hear it almost every two weeks.
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And you can easily bake a muffin that you can eat every day. Egg muffins are awesome. Or banana oatmeal muffins with dates. Or whole wheat blueberry banana flax muffins with just a little honey as a sweetner.
Now I'm hungry.
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Once at a county fair in Minnesota, I had a deep fried twinky on a stick. I also has a deep fried pickle filled with cream cheese. There was also the holy frail, a deep fried Oreo.
I dont think any of those are defensible meal choices.
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I remember a few years ago my friends and I had this whole elaborate inside joke about how muffins were male and cupcakes were female and a muffin with frosting was a transgender muffin (and vice versa for a frostingless cupcake). And if a cismuffin and a ciscupcake got together they'd have little mini-muffins and mini-cupcakes. Tumblr would fucking murder me for this shit.
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I love this.
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Duh banana and blueberry are fruits shitlord.
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Yeah they have FRUIT in. Where is your God now OP?
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Did you know the blueberries in commercially made muffins is not blueberries at all? It's a chemical compound that is basically the same as what someone would use to winterize an RV. I saw that in a documentary. True or not, the thought of it has repelled me from consuming any pastries with blueberries unless I made it myself with real blueberries.
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Mmm, delicious delicious chemicals.
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Also, if you do believe a muffin is healthy, then the only difference between a healthy and an unhealthy snack is a small layer of frosting. That's some incredible cognitive dissonance there.
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Uh, excuse me, most muffins have fruit, which negates the rest of the calories. My 4 muffins for breakfast only contribute 110 calories to my 1200 a day.
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Ugh, I know someone who wants to lose weight. They started by ADDING fruits and veggies to their diet. Apparently adding food will help you lose weight because healthy. Diets don't work any 95% of the time anyway.
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If they eat a greater volume of vegetables, it could fill them up and cause them to eat less calorically dense food, possibly.
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HUrr Hurr! IF I eat this entire cake it'll be air and air has no calories. Therefore, cake has no calories.
Standard ham thought process
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This maybe the wrong subreddit but are muffins healthy or not. I always been told that muffins are good for you.
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They're basically a giant pile of carbs. Google says a bran muffin, and one that is probably considered small by most people has about 300 calories in it. One little muffin, 300 calories. Now, if that's all you're going to eat for breakfast then it isn't terrible, it has fiber and some protein in it to keep you feeling somewhat full for a while. Most people aren't going to have that as a whole meal though, many would consider that a small snack with other things. That's when it becomes a problem.
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Indeed.
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Perkins lemon poppyseed muffin 685 calories
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Dunkin donuts coffee cake muffin 620 calories
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Panera bread apple crunch muffin 450 calories
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Panera bread pecan crunch muffin 510 calories
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Panera bread Pumpkin muffin 590 calories
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Add on a flavored "coffee" confection with whipped cream and sauce from Starbucks, and you can add another 400-1000 calories (white choc mocha whip, either grande or venti topped out at at least 1000 iirc), and people forget that with breakfast they almost maxed out their day.
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Thank you. I did not know that
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For a funny comparison, just type into google "muffin calories" and then "french fry calories."
Googles generic numbers per 100g: french fries have less fat, more fiber, less sugar/carbs, 60 less calories.
And honestly, you probably eat a heavier muffin than you do french fries.. a large fries might be heavier than a mcdonalds muffin by comparison, but only marginally, and those are literally the most cardboard small tasteless muffins I can imagine. In comparison to a massive quantity of french fries I would find filling.
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I read, not so long ago, that a muffin is a suitable option for breakfast so long as it's no bigger than a small egg. Any larger than that then you are having too much fat/sugar. I have yet to this day see a muffin sold anywhere that is that small.
Obviously you could just eat less of a regular sized muffin. But I figure it's a slipperly slope and I'm just not risking it. I'm much happier having porridge anyway.
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Wow you are right. French fries are less fatty than muffins
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Which is totally fine as long as you got your macros for the day.
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There's a problem with the vague word "healthy".
A fit person who exercises and watches their diet isn't going to get sick and become obese simply because they eat a McDonalds cheeseburger.
And a fatty isn't going to become magically fit because they have an apple.
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The ingredients in a cupcake and a muffin are almost the same. Muffins tend to have less sugar, but it's still a big pile of garbage calories: sugar, white flour, and oil.
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Who the hell told you this? Or rather, where do you live? I'm NOT trying to be an ass here but Muffins are by no means an acceptable breakfast food where I live but rather some kind of dessert or sweet treat (like the cake that they are). I never understand this discussion when it comes up, so I'm just assuming it has to be a cultural thing...
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Do you not have a Starbucks anywhere near you? I find that hard to believe. People (including places like Starbucks) tout muffins as breakfast food constantly and public schools serve them to kids. I think the more relevant question is not where the vast majority of us live, but where is this oasis of good choices you live in?
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Oh man, people did take it the wrong way :(. For what it's worth, I live in Germany, and bakeries or and other places where you can get breakfast don't usually offer muffins as breakfast, it's more stuff like rolls with cheese or lunchmeat. Yes, there are Starbucks here, but it's not as wildly popular as it seems to be in the States. Hotels and other restaurants that offer breakfast also do not include muffins on a regular basis.
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I went to an all black secondary school which received very little funding from the government. They gave us muffins everything single day for breakfast.
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i was taught in public school that muffins were healthy, most important part of the "food pyramid" and all. sometimes it takes a lot to unravel fatlogic in disguise!
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I would say this is a pretty fucking obvious joke.
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This made me laugh because every Friday, I'm like YES, I want a MUFFIN and today I will have this delicious sugary buttery TREAT.
Hahahaha healthy.
For real, I know a chick who when she "diets" her breakfast is these weird 150 calorie bran muffins. I'm like "oh, so, low cal cake?"
It didn't go over well. "It's BRAN. It doesn't TASTE GOOD, so it must be HEALTHY, right?"
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And now I want a warm sweet buttery muffin. I hate you. continues eating brussel sprouts in sadness
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yeah, today it was oatmeal and a banana. Also pretty delicious and warm, but no butter. Green leafies make me sad, too. :( Broccoli can be delicious, though, and I'm not a nazi about not dressing it up. A little olive oil and minced garlic go a LONG way. If you like ginger, a bit of that and some thai chili paste are a nice touch, too.
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Hmm I'll have to try adding the ginger and thai chili paste. That sounds pretty delicious. Right now roasted b.sprouts and broccoli are my go to green of choice.
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Why do these people think eating vegetables will stop those 4 cheese burgers a day making them fat?
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Blast from the fatlogic past- I used to think muffins were better than cakes because of wholegrain flour. I went to make some and realised they were just big cakes. :(
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Been there. I was raised on cornbread. It's corn, obviously it's healthy.
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The whole idea of certain foods being "healthy" or "unhealthy" is, in my opinion, the basis of a lot of the obesity trouble this country is in. That seems like such an outdated, 1950's-esque attitude. Fruit, and bread (yikes) and cheese (yikes) are healthy, so eat more of them!
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Low-fat cheese!
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On the contrary, full fat!
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But low-fat is so healthy you can eat like four times the normal amount!
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I work with people who think muffins and bagels constitute a healthy breakfast. I consider bagels the fattiest of breads. It contains your daily allowable amount of sodium for crying out loud! I hate when I have a treat day and I choose to have a bagel for breakfast and everyone's like "oh, eating healthy today?" But when I have a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast no one says a single thing to me.
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I wish I could have a muffin again :<
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Well compared to a cupcake it might be.
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Muffins are in no way, shape or form healthy.
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If I were dying of starvation, I'd eat a healthy muffin.
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It's amazing how many people refuse to grasp the concept that a "healthy" or "all natural" food can be very high-calorie and make you very fat.
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"It's all natural!"
"So is arsenic!"
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You'd be surprised how many people there are that think bran muffins are healthy. It's disheartening, really.
I'm always a little sad when I see people ordering the raisin bran muffin at Tim Hortons to be "healthy". Like, you know that that muffin has as much sugar as the triple chocolate muffin, right? And almost the same amount of fat and calories? Meanwhile, a chocolate dip donut has half the calories, fat, sodium and carbs of a raisin bran muffin, along with a staggering 1/4 of the sugar.
But no, it has bran and raisins, must be healthy.
I just quit my 2 year "career" at Subway (woo!) People asked me alllll the time "which bread is the healthiest?" Or "is flat bread the healthiest?" (I was in the process of/lost over 40lbs while I was cutting out subway- so I knew which foods were the good and bad ones. I knew the calorific value of absolutely every thing in the store- including sauces and slices of meat) I always told them "white or wheat would be the healthiest" (because they are the lowest calories- white was slightly lower calorie and wheat had fiber) But WITHOUT FAIL. They always said "Oh I better go with the Honey Oat! That's probably the healthiest!" Like REALLY? HONEY oat?? It's bread covered in practically brown sugar with hardly any oats (which add calories and are marinated in the whole sugary mixture anyways) TL;DR Oats can be deceiving.
Any ordering pet peeves I should avoid?
I always feel a little bad whenever we get to the vegetable part of the sandwich making process and I ask for all of them because I usually do meat with no cheese and want a filling meal. Is this frowned upon or is it standard fare for a lot of people?
Don't feel bad for asking for ingredients that are offered to you. It probably takes a bit more time and effort to put all the vegetables but it's not like you didn't ask for exactly what was on offer in front of you anyway.
They probably feel better about stuffing it with veggies than creating a meat-cheese-and-ranch monstrosity anyway.
Not at all. It is definitely no unusual for people to ask for all of the vegetables. It is polite to ask for avocado first if you are getting it though because it's a lot easier to spread it on the bread. I used to have a lot of pet peeves when I was new. But after the first year the only things that pissed me off were rude people and people that got out of line to grab their chips in the middle of ordering. Also, sandwich artists are supposed to put only 3 of every veggie on a six inch- so if they ever seem like they're being "skimpy" it's because they're being watched by a corporate inspector or the owner of the store. You can always ask for more veggies though.
I remember asking for all the vegetables once and the guy looked at me like I had asked him to garnish my sub with the tears of orphans.
Honey oat is delicious. Plus, it's only a difference of 30 calories from the white. Whatevs.
But if you're going to ask which one is healthiest and then not believe my advice and decide that Honey Oat is "the healthiest" because oats, then you're rude and full of fat logic. Lucky for you, you're not one of those people because you already know the nutritional value.
My favourite is how double doubles and chocolate glazed doughnuts are roughly comparable calorically. Perception and reality are rarely as far removed as when you ask people about the nutritional content of fast food/restaraunt food.
I don't like muffins. If I want to eat something loaded with fat and calories I'll just have the piece of cake.
Personally im not really into cake or cupcakes. You just got me thinking that birthday muffins might be an interesting thing though.
Fiber is important but I think a bran cereal or some fruits and veges might be a better option to get it than a probably sugary high calorie muffin.