Do we need to post a list of red flags on profile pics?

I see a lot of shitlords saying how they were fooled by a profile pic. often from a hammoth using Myspace angles. usually the red flags become more obvious after they meet said beast. here are a couple of things to avoid and things to look for.

  1. Neck tits. If the photo stops at the cleavage, and the cleavage goes all the way up to their neck, it is a fatty. swipe left.
  2. Instead, make sure the profile pic is a full body shot or at least includes the torso. you know that THIS woman isn't trying to mask her body. a fit shitlord proudly displays what they have. a hambeast tries to deceive.
  3. look for a collar bone. (or if hair is obscuring it you can see evidence of a collar bone at the neckline). Fatties do not have visible collar bones. people with visible collar bones also have proper definition where the neck meets the chest. this is true for both men and women
  4. high contrast. they do this to obscure the just bad skin in general. that's why all the makeup on fatties. dry/oily, patchy, washed-out looking due to poor circulation and bad diet, usually some acne due to not being clean, etc. (thanks to u/ughfat for the great example of what i was talking about.) as well as an attempt to mask a chin or 3. it also makes it more difficult to use the background to judge scale. that white and gold / blue and black dress illusion was caused by poor contrast and brightness of the photo. contrast and brightness illusions make things look completely different than real life. this is often used in conjunction with....
  5. fish eye lenses. these will almost exclusively be from the MySpace angle looking down on the blob. it will often be cropped to ONLY include the butter golem because the lens distorts the background quite noticeably. if there is absolutely no background in the profile pic, it may be using a fish eye lens to make the obeast look human.
  6. talks about being a "foodie" or has a picture with food in it. (Thanks u/FlushableHandle) to humans, a "foodie" enjoys varied tastes and subtle flavors in well prepared healthy food. to the animal kingdom, "foodie" means THIS. even if the picture shows an attractive, thin person with its food, it could be an old photo before it blimped up from being a food lover. u/SeizeTheFatOne has a great point below. if someone says they are a foodie, and talk about restaurants, they are fat. if they say they are a foodie, and talk about dishes they make, they are probably not fat. (EXCELLENT POINT!)
  7. Profile pic shows 2 or more women. a general rule of thumb, if a pic shows 2 women the profile belongs to the uglier one. in the 1% of cases where the pic is of the thinner one, it is probably an older pic that was taken "20 lbs ago" (remember fatties use weight to tell time)
  8. Any statement referring to "bad knees". (thanks u/PM_ME_RACCOONS) this can be a warning sign that they are lazy and will become a planet soon. usually it means they have already completed their galactic transformation. My dad legitimately has bad knees and he still runs marathons (he no longer wins them, but he still runs them). he never talks about his knees, but i can see what he does to ease the pain they cause. talking about why your "bad knees" won't let you do anything is always an excuse used by the lazy. i'm not talking about legit knee injuries or people who have bad knees. i'm talking about people who use the "i have bad knees" excuse to keep them from enjoying life.
  9. Tricep / shoulder. (thanks u/XXLCattleprod) If you can see it, check where their triceps meet their shoulders. Real peoples' shoulders will curve in above and mostly parallel to the short head of the triceps. In my experience (in regards to women at least) girls who lack this definition are actually livestock posing as humans.
  10. EVERYTHING listed in THIS outstanding contribution from u/bovine_loathing. absolutely brilliant contribution!

having a couple of red flags does not mean you are a hammoth. especially the one related to bad skin on the high contrast shots. Bad skin can be hereditary. but having red flags does make you look over other aspects closer. if after the closer review everything seems normal, then game on.

Please add to this list to prevent humans from getting fooled by false advertising. I will edit as needed and add pictures when i can.

also...a sincere thank you to everyone who added great comments below helping me make this list more complete and helping me explain my points more clearly.

Posted Mar 19, 2015, 3:23 PM UTC · edited

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