MRAs R A-OK
Wear your manhood on your sleeve
those women can’t be your disease
you’ve read the books and bought the shirt,
the Vagina Demons have no way to hurt
You know you’re macho,
know you’re brave
your fortress is your phallic cave
no Betas, Gammas, dykes or girls
can undermine your manly world
You’ll laugh at them and walk away
Fedora waved along the way
‘Cos MRAs are serious stuff
and of the pussy you’ve had enough
until that late night twinge occurs,
when you start to doubt that Holy Word
that girls are bad and boys are best,
so why should you feel so depressed?
Alone so late with no one there
your manhood just laid cold and bare
‘Til morning comes and you realise
these girls are all for other guys
those FemiNazis, dykes and dogs
Gammas, Betas, fags and hogs
‘Cos you’re the un-reconstructed male
and God designed you not to fail
so wave your MRA manhood high
and wait ’til late at night to cry
Won't pretend this is a particularly serious piece but given some recent stuff in the news it came to mind. Anyway, more here as ever.
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/449vit/a_pinewood_box_of_sorts/czr6hwt https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/44huny/assisted_feast/czr6ron
Posted Feb 7, 2016, 5:27 PM UTC
I'm not upvoting or downvoting it; you asked for critique. I don't have a problem with anyone attacking MRAs (or certain kinds of feminists, for that matter), but for a good POEM you need to bring in original ideas, or an authentic point of view, or—well, ANYTHING with more meat on it than a typical Tumblr tirade.
We get it; you don't like MRAs. The very fact that you use the term "MRA" kind of telegraphs your opinion already. And, apparently, you think MRAs clothe themselves in stereotypical, deeply basic masculinity to avoid addressing their shortcomings and so forth. These statements are so broad as to be meaningless—I'm sure there are lots of MRAs like that, and I'm sure there are some who don't live the stereotype, and I'm sure there are some who are arguably sex-positive feminists. So what?
Maybe you could write about the MRA who could get laid if only he'd pay attention to "fat" chicks, or the MRA who eventually turns himself around? I'm not sure for WHOM you're writing this, but it seems kind of echo-chamber-y, like that there are a bunch of ideas we should just assume are correct or insightful, but that aren't really unpacked or drilled into.
Is this poem for women online? If so, are you telling them anything they don't already know? Is this poem for MRAs? If so, do you think directly shaming them is a good way to get their sympathetic attention? Is this poem for people outside the online fights, to explain what MRAs are? If so, does it provide the necessary context, including perhaps humanizing the MRA by explaining how he is ultimately a victim of toxic masculinity, too?
I guess if you just want to make a bunch of waves and get a bunch of controversial up/down votes, reblogs, shares, etc. then this poem might work. I personally don't find it insightful enough to appreciate, nor even convinced in itself enough to be offended as a man, or whatever.
Well, I appreciate the analysis and the fact that you took the time to write it. As to the questions about it's intent... it was a personal and, as I said, not particularly serious side piece. Recently a guy called Roosh V announced some meetups in the UK and called out his cadre to come along. For a moment there was some hype about his views on rape and a woman's 'place' in society and about ten seconds after people gave their popular opinion on him they were cancelled.
Personally I don't use Tumblr (to read or comment) and the UK has very little presence as far as the MRA stuff goes so it was mostly new to me. I wrote a piss taking poem off the back of the more, er, energetic arguments that he makes and that his followers took up. Lots of insults, lots of deadpan outrage which didn't make much sense, conspiracy theories etc. Taking the rise out of that made me chuckle. A fairly British reaction really, taking the piss out of people who seem crazy rather than dignifying them with grand critique.
No doubt plenty of people out there write deadly serious poetry and prose about this stuff, maybe one day I will, but this is a reaction to a load of lonely fellas planning to meet up using code words by a park in London.
If it's just a reaction to a load of lonely fellas, I'd say the tone is MUCH more serious or judgmental than you intended.
comes off pretty heavy, and heavy handed; not especially playful, non-serious, or light-hearted at all.
Should perhaps have mentioned that these lonely fellas, or at least the Roosh guy they follow, have advocated such gems as legalizing rape on private property. The group may be absurd enough to have the piss taken but there is something pretty nasty at the heart of them. So aye, a bit of heavy alongside the mockery.
That sounds like a wonderful specific detail to mention directly in the poem; it helps me understand your point of view, judgement, etc.