Ghost of Despair

Hey everyone, first time poster in this sub. Just recently got into writing poetry. I usually listen to rap when writing and I was going to post this in a rap subreddit but this place seemed more appropriate, correct me if I'm wrong! Anyway here it is:

You ever get so mad
you wanna place a brick in a bag,
spray it with mace,
then chuck it at someones face,
and watch their blood splatter all over the place?

Now I'm not usually the violent type,
but still,
its taking every single ounce of my will,
just to keep from harming you with a fucking power drill

And I know what you're thinking,
"bro take a chill pill,"
but fuck that,
no amount of drugs can fill this empty stain in my heart,
so why the hell should I even start?

Call the doc' to check my brain,
I think I might be going insane,
there's just too much pain
and I dunno how to explain,
how I'm feeling or why I do what I do.
I just do it, the same way that you do you.

I tried getting on my knees,
prayin' for Jesus to set me free,
but anxiety still wouldn't let me be,
haunting like a ghost that I can't see.
Maybe that's why I couldn't even finish my college degree.

How do you escape the inevitability
of getting caught in the loop of negativity,
when perhaps your only possibility for treatment is a self help group.
I'm afraid chicken soup can't heal this sickness,
all you can do is sit in bed and fantasize about living in bliss

But now I've found a way,
of forming the words to what I've always wanted to say.
Through this medium of self expression,
I can finally tear through this terrible depression.
The days of constant suppression are over,
you can't force a fight on an unwilling soldier.

My own words have just made me bolder,
I no longer need to cry on anyone else's shoulder.
It's starting to make sense,
all I needed was some confidence.

But this story is not just about me

Open your eyes and let me help you see.
You've gotta find a way to breach these mental defenses.
Why don't you try on a different pair of lenses.
There!
You see?
Just out of reach, a set of keys.
Go on, go ahead! You're almost free

You see the choice is yours,
you can let the tears pour,
weep and wallow in despair.
Yell out and say that the world ain't fair.
But you're not alone don't you understand?
I'm here, let me lend you a helping hand.
Pick yourself up off the ground, look around.
Be glad that at least you're safe and sound.

Whatever is causing you all this pain,
know that it's only temporary,
soon it will wane.
You're amazing,
so raise your voice and sing!
Rejoice, you beautiful human being!
Keep that in mind,
when you're feeling behind.

More by me:
Insidious Incarceration
Unknown Known
Memory Lane
Fever
Born in A Storm
Scrimmage
Addiction

My Feedback:
Ramblings on how I feel right now
Poem On a Post-it Note