Thanks, I really liked this one as well. I'm glad someone liked it.

I really like this for multiple reasons, for one, the rhyme scheme is very smooth and consistent. I really like the whole feel I get from the poem, and I find the meaning very deep, it definitely resonated with me.

First off I like small parts, but feel like its a little strung out and could use some polishing to make it read better. For instance, just breaking the format and spacing everything out will make it a little more powerful.


"I am not a person
I am a thought....
to live is pure;
to love, is taught."


I wanted to like your use of whisp, but couldn't find comfort in it's execution. Perhaps if you used it before whispers, it would have flowed better without a significant change in dialog. 


" Let whisp, the gentle whispers and hollow faces rest. "
As to
"let gentle whispers whisp and hollow faces rest"


A couple of times I felt distracted by your descriptions but I enjoyed the poem nonetheless. Tbh imo I didn't much like the last line, the one before would have suited me much more well off. Anyways, I enjoyed your poem thanks for sharing. 




I am not a person, I am a thought

to live is pure, to love is taught 

&amp;nbsp;

let gentle whispers whisp and hollow faces rest

lend your eyes discreetly, lay before a fateful test

let immersed your thoughts yee playful wake

distraught before the crest at stake

&amp;nbsp;

let the cries of empty souls be still

let them shake their weary hearts to shape

wipe their brows of bitterness

the screaming face, a cleaner slate


&amp;nbsp;

I leave my burden a test of fate

I am not man, I am a state

&amp;nbsp;

Feedback:

(https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/46s5i7/another_reflection/d08k3mz)
(https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/46wxvk/presidential_election/d08nbxl)

The crest at stake