Thanks for catching that, I must have missed it.

Lovely sentiments here. I'd say maybe work on the flow of each line - or break the poem up into stanzas. Also 'we look the astrological signs' is grammatically incorrect - I think? Just my thoughts.

Really beautiful. A feeling any two people can share, an appreciation for each other while knowing things will eventually change. Thanks!

This is beautiful. You really crystallized that sense of timelessness that comes with love. My one critique is a typo (I think?). As another commenter noted, the sentence "We look the astrological signs" isn't grammatically correct.

This is such a great concept. I love the embrace showing how you're holding on to this person and what is shared. You really succeeded in giving showing the warmth and devotion in your tone. A few lines break this, though. The line about bricks sounded like vomiting to me, and didn't build up the effect you had started. I like the idea of the butterflies, but showing a negative feeling will throw someone off if you're going for the warm fuzzy feeling. "As I'm reminded by your wristwatch" also seems to be an unnecessary line that doesn't contribute toward the theme. Your opening lines help set up a "summery night under the stars" vibe that builds with your description of your relationship with the person. The last line is great at bringing a satisfying conclusion that is bittersweet but still keeps the idea of devotion going. I love how you made me feel like I was in the moment. Great piece!

Chronophobia

&amp;nbsp;

The astro turf beneath our backs

We look to the astrological signs

But see nothing but twinkling lights

Because we can't read or speak to stars

There's no sense in knowing the future

Because I only want to live in the past

But I think I may be able to bear it

If we can stay in the same present

You curl up next to me and sigh

and the bricks come out of my stomach

I smile softly and kiss your lips

and they're replaced with butterflies

The clock keeps ticking through our embrace

As I'm reminded by your wristwatch

But I swear to the sky I'll be with you

Until one of us runs out of time

&amp;nbsp;

Previous feedback:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/4lz6rw/do_you_need_a_man/d3raoha

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/4lyrbt/sober_love/d3raisn