Alone again

I was a broken mess
I was shattered into pieces
And I had no life
And I had no friends
And I was the only lone wolf
Without no god damned pack
I hadn't anywhere 
To even turn back

I was like an old man
Without a damned walking stick
and I kept falling
falling everywhere I went
And I couldn't even vent
Nobody would ever let me
Lean on their shoulder to cry
It only made it worse
And instead of wanting to cry
It only made me want to DIE DIE DIE DIE
But
Then, I met you.

You were the light that helped me see
Through the dark dark waters
Where I couldn't even breath
I was locked in a vacuum
And I got sucked up
But you managed 
To rip me the fuck out

You showed me that I wasn't so terrible
That in fact, I was even kinda likeable. 
You helped me see
A whole new side of me.
That I never new I had inside
But, now you're gone.

I've been sucked back up
In the giant black hole
And it's happening all over again
It's like a fucking giant broken record
And I've seen it happen all before

I've gone back in the cycle
Of self hate
Self harm
self disgust
And self loathing 

When you drift back in my mind
My eyes pour like a waterfall
You where the only one
That could understand my
lack of ability to connect
With those around me

I'm a puzzle board
Without any of the right pieces
And you were the only piece
That could even connect with me
And I still feel that
Only you can complete me.

Down goes the bottle
Of the bleach that can save me
Down goes the pain and misery
Down goes the only thing I loved
Down goes my everything

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/4mqhnv/pulled_apart_at_the_seams/d3xnxr4 https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/4mlfi9/its_comforting/d3xo2tv