A story

Well done. The poem is short but it still strikes. While reading this poem I had a faint memory of reading a poem on albatross. It reminds me of that. The title goes well with the poem too.

There are weird tonal/register inconsistencies in this piece that prevent me from fully endorsing it.

The first two lines are written in this very high register, invoking references to the Bible with dust and ashes and more reputable fantasy with the Phoenix, as if from the perspective of some begrizzled, oracular priest. The second two lines are suddenly much less imagistic. The language is vague and cryptic, without any of the bombast of the first couplet. Then all of a sudden the final couplet is written in this very cozy language. There's just this huge gulf when the first couplet is near apocalyptic with everything being ash and dust and Phoenix rising, the second couplet is transcendent and then all of a sudden where at blankets that warm in the cold.

It really seems like there are three different speakers here, but nothing like that is marked and I doubt a poem of this length could support that.

This shift accompanies a sort of strange progression of ideas

1. (When?) sin/indulgence over a long time have died, we may have some rebirth event. (L1-2)
2. One (God, I assume) exists. (L3)
3. After the death of 1, something that is not human, so probably divine, persists. (L4)
4. God's beauty/goodness will comfort us mortals until said death/rebirth event. (L5-6)

The weirdness is that 2 is redundant given how 1 is phrased, 3 is so cryptic that I guessed blindly there and 4. introduces this human, touchy-feely, small-scale aspect to something that was before so austere and inhuman. Further there is a strange disconnect between the vaguely cataclismic apocalypse of L1-4 and the uncovering of L6. I thought the idea of a second-coming style rapture/equivalent as a sort of remembering was a really interesting idea, but it should be the basis of its own poem and not feel like a tacked on final line that does not fit.

To offer more specific critique, the first stanza uses images that are kind of cliche by this point. Dust, ashes and Phoenixes are strong signifiers with tons of history, but they are just sort of smashed together here and not well developed. Again, I think the blanket image is offputtingly cutesy. The writing is fine, but I would personally prefer to see this type of thematic content fitted to or engaging with poetic forms used to express similar religious themes.