The Royal Catfight Series Semifinals Wrap-Up (FINAL MATCH TOMORROW!)

The semifinals are done. Fourteen of our original sixteen contestants have been defeated, and at last we’re ready to move on to the final match. First, though, let’s take a moment to remember those we’ve lost.

 

Celica, princess of Zofia, later queen of Valentia, slain in cold blood by Seth.
Azura, , purged by Julia.
Sumia, a Shepherd of Ylisse, possible Queen of Ylisse, outmanoeuvred by Tana.
Nanna, princess of Nordion, queen of Lenster, defeated by Lilina.
Deirdre, empress of Grannvale, obliterated by Caeda.
Sothe, queen consort of Daein, frozen solid by Ninian.
Farina, mercenary of Ilia, possible wife of Marquess Ostia, wing-clipped by Soren.
Rath, nomad of Sacae, overrun by Elincia.

Julia, imperial princess of Grannvale, disintegrated by Seth.
Tana, princess of Frelia, possible queen of Renais, toasted by Lilina.
Ninian, possible wife of Marquess Pherae, speared by Caeda.
Elincia, queen of Crimea, usurped by Soren.

 

And now…

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Seth vs. Lilina

For Seth/Against Lilina
High-Effort: IIIIIII
Mid-Effort: IIIIIIII
Low-Effort: IIIIIII

For Lilina/Against Seth
High-Effort: IIIIIIIII
Mid-Effort: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Low-Effort: IIII

Bam! Seth goes down. In hindsight, perhaps I was too harsh with his banned argument versus Lilina’s, but eh, fuck it.

For the record, no comments had their effort-level changed due to the banned arguments, though I know that perhaps some comments weren’t made because of them.

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Caeda vs. Soren

For Caeda/Against Soren
High-Effort: IIIIIIIIII
Mid-Effort: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Low-Effort: IIIIIIIII

For Soren/Against Caeda
High-Effort: IIIIIIIIIII
Mid-Effort: IIIIIIIIIII
Low-Effort: IIII

For all the pseudo-drama surrounding this matchup, Caeda had a fairly easy time taking down Soren. Holy shit. My tactician came into my room to bring me a plate of mutton and I literally screamed at him and hit the plate of mutton out of his hand. He started yelling and swearing at me and I slammed the door on him. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to do that to my tactician but I'm literally in shock from the results today. I feel like I'm going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is she winning? This can't be happening. I'm having a fucking breakdown. I don't want to believe the subreddit is so corrupt. I want a future to believe in. I want everyone to play Tellius and fix this broken fandom. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought he did well against Elincia? This is so fucked.

Kind of the opposite of the Tellius bias copypasta I wanted to post, but close enough.

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#The final match, Lilina vs. Caeda, will be posted tomorrow at 4:30 p.m. EST.

#The following arguments are “banned” (i.e. will count only for low-effort points unless accompanied by something better:

“Lilina has Hector’s genes/Lilina is shit compared to her daddy”
“Lilina can use Bolting and Forblaze/Lilina is a squishy mage”

“Caeda has Win Spear/Win Spear is all Caeda has going for her”
“Caeda recruits everyone/Caeda is an unfaithful philanderer who doesn’t deserve Marth”

In addition, any argument that relies exclusively on Lilina or Caeda’s romantic relationship with their corresponding lord will count as low-effort. Using parts of their relationship as a support point is still valid, but relying exclusively on Roy or Marth without specifically talking about Caeda or Lilina themselves won’t help you (e.g. “Roy is shit therefore Lilina is shit” with no other point).

Also keep in mind that low-effort comments will count for very little in the final tally - I’ll basically be covering up those points and seeing if a winner can be determined based solely on high- and mid-effort comments, e.g:

Wendy
H: IIIIIIIII
M: IIIIIII
L: III

…would beat:

Meg
H: IIIII
M: IIIIII
L: IIIIIIIIIIIII

Go all out, in other words.

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I’ll see you all tomorrow. Remember: always burn responsibly!