New to poetry

Ive never wrote about you
I feel as if I missed my chance and these words would be for nothing
Just a bunch of letters made into words
Meaning everything to me but nothing to you
I wonder every day how you feel about me
The irony gets to me as you're the reason I write
I've read your poems and they've all inspired me to write my own

Your talent is just as beautiful as you are
If not more
I wish I could turn back the hands of time
It stings me with the same intensity
Each time you utter the words
"Remember when you rejected me in high school?"
Always reminding me of the mistake I made
And Ive always been curious as to what could have been

I feel love these days but not real love
In an exciting way, like a young child on Christmas morning
But I love you in a different way
In a special way
Excitement fades but that special love could never fade
For it is permanently etched into my heart through the memories I have of you
Along with the pain of the times I did not have you in my life

I still remember the first time I looked into your eyes
Blue and vibrant like the cloudless sky
Looking into those eyes I know I can tell you anything
No matter what I say you won't think differently of me
Looking into those eyes I see an intellectual
We both hunger for those deep thoughts
Looking into those eyes I see you
All of you

I should have kissed you when I had the chance
It may be all I need to kindle the flame once more
The fire in me burns for you
Not a raging fire as it once was
But an eternal flame
Incessantly burning
I wait for the day you douse me with your kerosene lips
To turn my spark of hope into a flame of passion

I know that in the end
It is not me who will find my way to you
But you who will find your way to me
I will wait
I've been doing it for years

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/59zyrq/social_media/?st=IUWTRSNU&sh=70d5dd6c

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/59votg/dopamine_flutter/?st=IUWTU3F0&sh=677bf1bb