Source
r/socialanxiety•
Cremisius

I want to apply to uni but I have nobody to give references. Help?

Got this sorted now, but thank you for the advice! I was cheeky and asked someone who taught me 5 years ago when I still went to school if he could help me out, and he said he would. It pays to be chummy with your teachers!

I've been home educated since the age of 14 due to my social anxiety and have learned using online distance learning courses. The tutors I've had for my courses can't provide references as they don't actually know me and can't vouch for work ethic etc. I'm now 19, so it's been way too long since I was at school to get my former teachers to give references.

My anxiety prevented me from joining clubs or taking classes, as well as taking exams. I suddenly began to progress quickly in my recovery a few months ago, and I'm now wanting to go to (and capable of going to!) university.

I searched up what to do in this situation and all the sources I found suggested character references, but I don't think I have anyone who can provide those. The only person I have any kind of relationship with outside of my family is my boyfriend, who I think isn't able to give one either. It doesn't help that my family are all pretty antisocial so there are no family friends I've seen in the last few years! I've looked into volunteering but they require character references to get started as well. I can't get a job.

I feel ready to get back into the world and back into formal education but my social anxiety and the home education due to it has left a negative impact. If anyone else has been in a similar no-reference situation, what did you do? Is there any fast way to get someone who can give a character reference, without having character references beforehand? Will universities accept applications without any sort of reference? And, by any chance, does anyone know of a subreddit for home education that isn't just for parents sharing resources to teach young children?

(e) I'm in England

Posted Dec 13, 2016, 3:55 PM UTC · edited

109
Anthroyd•

Assuming you're in the US, most large public colleges (state universities) don't require any sort of reference to apply. They mainly look at grades and course rigor. You shouldn't have a problem applying to one of those schools. :)

One thing I'm curious about is how you plan to succeed in college if you're unable to join clubs, go to class, or even take exams in person? Unless your anxiety has improved since then, which it sounds like it has since you've tried applying for jobs.

6
CremisiusOP•

My anxiety has improved significantly, hence wanting to go to uni! I'm in the UK and my local college is less than quality, so it's a backup option if I can't get into any place better. I'd probably be the best catch they got in a long time :-P

2
donjuansputnik•

Step 1: Seek anxiety treatment with a qualified psychiatrist. You won't survive in university if you cannot take a test.
Step 2: I'd recommend a community college for a year or two, which will help with getting references if you want to go to a private school.

As u/Anthroyd noted, big schools (and CCs) don't usually require references. Having first hand experience with online classes (both from the instruction side and from the hiring of people side), I wouldn't recommend fully online schools.

3
CremisiusOP•

As I said in my post, I've recovered a lot this year and would be fully capable of sitting exams now. I had to take online courses as I couldn't manage tutoring or classes in the past - if I could have, I would have gone the easy route and stayed in school!

My local college is "the place where people end up" and I'm treating it as a last resort. If I can't get into any uni, I might go there and take a course that would give me me the grades (and references!) to apply properly.

1
donjuansputnik•

That's definitely a good fallback plan. I don't know how the UK works w/r/t applications and references though, so I can't contribute further (I work at a university in the US).

EDIT: I lied. I can contribute some more.

Many universities will allow anyone with the cash to take classes (which I imagine is the case in the UK too). Take a few classes, participate well (ask good question - my god, people who do that are godsents in classes), and get recommendations from the lecturers/professors in those classes. That's how I got recommendations years after I took classes when I was applying to grad programs.

2
ThrowawayFedora12•

Contact the universities first, take a look at what courses you're interested in, and send the relevant department an email.

Speaking from experience, try to stick to a uni close to home. If you're struggling to make friends/meet people, uni might be tough when you're constantly on your own. That being said, there's more support at unis that I think you'll be offered anywhere else. I feel like I'm beating my SA by all the opportunities to meet people.

Please don't be put off by second paragraph, uni is amazing, tough sometimes, but worth it.

1
CremisiusOP•

I made sure to think about that when choosing places to look at and the unis I'm interested in are only an hour and a half away from home. Shooting them an email is a good idea, thanks!

1
ausername41•

I'm applying to university too but I can't really help you.

If I were you, I'd try asking in r/6thform it's a really helpful sub.

1
PigfartsatChristmas•

I had this problem as well when applying to college and for scholarships. I did do band in high school so I had one reference, but I had to have at least three. So The other two were character references, one from a family friend and one from my long term boyfriend's mom.

1