Yeah, I'll get rid of "here" all together. Thank you for bringing it to my attention. I didn't like the length of line five, so it will help if I remove it. I like the color idea. I will have to think of a way to write it :) 

I love it. My only qualm is the repitition between the fourth and the fifth line, I understand the purpose and I think if you could try to achieve the same meaning without it, it would be better, because honestly it just feels lime those words are there just to give length to the line. As for expanding it, I think you could do something with the metaphor of the color of a bruise (I.e. Blue related to sadness or red relates to pain).

I think I will play with this piece more. It will be about my dad who I've met once in my life. Thank you for commenting. The interpretation was pretty spot on.

edit: guess I should consider my dad a person... geez.

What I like most about this poem is the interplay with tenderness being the pain of a bruise while also meaning softness and comfort. I wonder if you could spread out the sentiment of relief and longing throughout the poem more. While most of it carries the connotation of relief that the bruise is gone, it is only at the end that we really see that there is some conflict of desire. Maybe work the imagery of that last line into the beginning or middle of the poem, helping us empathize with both sentiments.

The abusive relationship could work. I haven't been in a physical abusive relationship... emotional, yes. 

Originally this section was in a stanza about a pear. "Mon pear" as a play on words and the narrator got the bruising because they got the genetics from their dad which made them easy to bruise- physically and emotionally (figuratively). Basically the narrator just feels it's better to forget, but will still miss them even if they do. 

I really like this! I would like to know why there was relief when the pain went away.

I imagine this is about an abusive relationship, so maybe playing into the theme that it is hard to leave those types of relationships would help. For example, there is relief that the pain is gone, but the pain felt good and they miss that type of pain at times.

I'm thinking about removing "here" from both lines. It's unnecessary now that I think about it. I'm glad you like my poem!

I think maybe "but then you weren't with me" would flow better than reusing the word here but other than that I really love the poem! 

I think that's a good interpretation. Thank you for commenting :)

Very strong sentiment.

Like the 'better to have loved and lost than never have loved'

Thats what I took away from it. I could be wrong.

**I wrote this a while ago and it's part of a longer piece, but I really like this particular section and want some advice on some expanding maybe (*maybe?*).**


Like a bruise on my body,  
I don’t remember when you came to be.  
I kept pressing my thumb on the center  
to see if I could still feel you here,  
but then you weren’t here and I was relieved;  
but missed the tenderness you left.

Fb:^[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/5wqkes/autumn_leaves/dei7kww/)[2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/5wqt45/elegy/dei88c1/)

Bruised