I really like the imagery of the warmth, I felt like the poem should be longer.

Thank you for the kind words! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

I agree, the imagery was good. I enjoyed this very much. I personally like the length and don't think it needs to be any longer! Good job on this 

Thank you very much! It's not too much about coming of age, but I love that that's what you got from it! 

I like that synesthesia in the second line, really makes you pause to take in the meaning.  It almost seems like a coming of age type poem? The yearning of the narrator for the pubescent angst that others are reveling in while they stand as a spectator. Awesome stuff.

Thank you! I will try to see what other words I can play with and see what else works best

Thank you! I didn't really think of contrasting for this poem but do like the feedback of trying it. I'm glad you enjoyed the last verse especially!

I *love* the imagery of warmth here.  If you added something contrasting the speaker with the warmth--for example, "burning star" versus "silver moon" or something cold--it would really accent the imagery.
The last verse is quite good.  Very well done with that one.

Haha, I can try playing with some other stuff in that line. I guess the idea I was trying to go with was finally being able to fully know what light and all other feelings of warmth truly feel like. I was using the sun (burning star) as a symbol of everything that is beyond scorching with warmth.

My only complaint is the burning star image you've got going there. Seems, idk weird. What were you trying to do with it. I get the whole poem seems to be about light, but how in death, does one meet the big star dude man in the sky? 

I'm not the best at critiquing poetry but I thought this was great. I was able to visualize (imagery) and feel what you were writing, especially the part that was "my skin ached for the grasp of warmth". So good job :)

small rays seep through my window,  
with light onto my ear; whispering  
‘someday you and the burning star will  
dance'. my thoughts move on,  
and i wonder if any day  
could provide such a chance.  

my skin has ached for the grasp of warmth;  
longing for nothing more,  
but to understand why fate  
halts to ignite one last torch. 

-

[1] (https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/66xxb2/sometimes/dgnr6q8/)

[2] (https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/66ms0u/porcelain_cliff/dgjry2b/)

sunbathing