Top 10 Worst Items!
##Hey everybody and welcome back to another Binding of Isaac Top 10 post.
This is one I never really wanted to do because ya'll are gonna get opinionated as hell down below but here we go. Top 10 WORST Items in Afterbirth+. Get hyped.
Once again since I know you'll have opinions, feel free to leave them down below, I'd love to know how you feel about items in Isaac and I'd love to have some conversations with you guys! We're in for some arguments in the comments I'm sure. As always if you'd like to see a video version, demonstrating the items seen below, you can click right here. Now onto my refusal list.
#Refusal List
So this is new to the Top 10 lists, we just keep on evolving man. This is my refusal list. Or items that I refuse to put into the Top 10 for reasons that I'll explain shortly. We're basically doing this because I know some of you will mention these items in the comments and I want to justify my decision now.
Cursed Eye
Cursed Eye falls into that list of items that you just don't take on a run. Understandable why. You likely won't beat Hush or Delirium or sometimes just a basic room without being teleported out and screwed over. It's sucky, but it's not as horrible as other items. With Black Candle Cursed Eye actually becomes a very good item as it can double triple or even quadruple your damage output without consequence. If an item has the ability to be good, it doesn't belong on a Top 10 Worst list.
Soymilk
See the previous statement for clarification. I literally made a post showing how good Soymilk can be. You’re lying to yourself if you have it in the Top 10 list. It's just goofy. Go pick up Libra then tell me Soymilk is bad with a straight face, I dare you.
Kamikaze/Mine Crafter/Best Friend
These are bad items. I'm not going to deny that. But they aren't the worst items because at the very least they are a bomb. This means a tinted rock, a pot, a secret room, or a bit of damage to a boss. Early game without a spacebar item they can give you an edge to ensure you get that deal with the devil or get the extra 2 cents needed for Champion Belt from the shop. I can't put an item like that in a Top 10 Worst List.
Bob's Brain
This isn't a bad item, it's a risk reward item. It's going to do a significant amount of damage to enemies if you control how you fire it. While it can hurt you, if you're cautious, it won't. I can't justify high damage being in a Top 10 Worst Items list.
Isaac’s Heart
Also a risk reward item. You will essentially have infinite money through Blood Donation machines or items through Demon Beggars. You can step on spikes and creep. There’s a lot of benefits it has even if it limits your dodging. The fact that there’s some benefits makes it difficult for me to put it on the list.
#Honorable Mentions
While we couldn't put the items before on the list, it's hard to not put these on so they're our Honorable Mentions today. If I could do a Top 14 I would but that's just a little weird.
The Hourglass
The Hourglass can be really useful. Slowing down enemies in a room is a powerful tool. The only problem is this lasts like, less than 10 seconds and is relatively useless against a boss. This makes it pretty bad. How to make it better? Just give it the stopwatch ability and now it's a pretty good active item.
Strange Attractor
I think I speak for everyone when I say this item can suck samson's ball and chain. Having everything attracted towards your tears can make a very unpredictable situation in each room. It leads to a lot of damage as many of you know. The only reason I don't have it in the Top 10 is because it can be good in some synergies like Epic Fetus or Ludovico Technique. How can you make this better? Have the attraction start a second after the tear is shot. This stops enemies from flying directly at Isaac immediately.
Mom's Pad
I don't even really want to talk about this item. Fearing enemies for 5 seconds is pretty useless and just the concept behind the item is disturbing on around 18 different levels. The one positive is it helps with the Mom transformation which is generally not that great but can be in certain circumstances. How can you make it better? Fear enemies in the room until they're dead and remove the damn graphic when you pop it.
Scissors
This item is bad but it can at least deal some damage around the room every two rooms. Being able to remove your head and have a stationary familiar firing in the room could be worse. It’s also pretty okay on Boss Rush as you can have many heads in the room all firing. How do you make it better? Just have the damage from the cut off head scale with Isaac’s damage. That makes this a pretty fun item in all honesty, similar to Sprinkler, but still pretty fun.
The Poop You can get coins. That’s about it. It’s pretty useless and it makes me think of Blue Baby, thus killing me a little bit on the inside.
#TOP 10!
10. Monster Manual
This item was bad in the original game. So bad that they spelled it wrong. Monster Manuel, the Hispanic Loch Ness Monster. At least the name is changed in Rebirth but sadly the item is still pretty bad. A random familiar every three rooms isn’t going to help a whole hell of a lot of anybody on a run. Sure a Lil Brim or Incubus would be nice but it’s unreliable and you’re just going to end up with a lot of Brother Bobby, no hate. How can we make it better? Have it only be a two room charge. Every other room makes it okay without it being overpowered. Or have it be a one room charge and include the pool of co op familiars. That’d be cool.
9. D10
Rerolling enemies is something I just don't understand ever being a good idea. It can reroll into any enemy on any floor and this can simply result in very little positive scenarios. Used on some bosses like Gemini or Pin will result in more enemies to fight. There's just.. not many positives. That means it's fairly negative. And that means it belongs on this list. How can you make it better? Have it only reroll into enemies from the floor you're on. Still not great, but gets rid of those damn walking hosts you don't want to fight.
8. Farting Baby
It's really no coincidence this item's ID is 404. It's an error to even have it in the game. Having a chance of farting in the room is borderline useless in every scenario. Sure it'll block some shots. Sure it'll have a chance to poison or push away enemies. But this is still not enough to merit calling this even an okay item. To make this okay, you would have to have it fart every time it blocked a shot. Even then, it would still be pretty bad.
7. Kidney Bean
Love Toots. I shouldn't even say any more than that but a spacebar item that simply… looks up what Kidney Bean actually does …ah yeah so it'll charm enemies in a radius around you... exciting. The fact I didn't even know what it did proves that it's not that great of an item. The most you'll get out of this is freezing some enemies for a few seconds to give you a better ability to dodge. Not spectacular. How do you fix it? Have it do poison damage as well so it does a nice double whammy.
6. The Jar
This one wins the award for “walk into a shop and see the Jar, not even mention it, and walk back out.” It’s just a bad item man. Most people are trying to get rid of their red hearts, not collect them and carry them around while taking up an active item slot. I also understand that there are synergies with the jar that can ultimately break the game but most normal Isaac players aren’t going to take the time to do that. There are much better spacebar items to take up the slot of the Jar. How can we turn it into a formidable item? Have it hold more hearts than just 4 and have it hold spirit hearts and black hearts too. Now you have a great item!
5. Isaac's Tears
On paper this item seems really good. Charge up a Tammy’s Head style shot that can be used multiple times in each room? Wrong. Since it does a small animation, it ends up hindering your ability to use it in a reasonable way in a room. It’s another item that just isn’t one I ever want to find a shop because I won’t take it. There’s a theme here, bad active items are realllllllllllly bad.
4. Abel
Close your eyes and imagine this situation. It’s Curse of the Blind. You see a golden chest. You have one key. You need the damage from Cricket’s Head. You need the damage from Guppy’s Head. You want the power of Goat Head. You run into that question mark item in that Golden Chest. Abel. Buzzkill. Abel’s just a bad item. Actually controlling it to do any damage for you is incredibly difficult and the little damage it does isn’t worth your time. I don’t even have a lot of ways to make this guy better. Maybe have it have Cain’s base damage because Cain and Abel blah blah blah? I don’t know. All I know is I’m sad when I see it.
3. Breath of Life
Does anybody actually know how to use this item correctly? The fact that it’s so rare to get, since it’s an Angel Deal item, then the fact that it just takes up an active item slot makes me relatively displeased whenever I pick up this item. I’ve never used it correctly and frankly don’t plan on it. It can do things that Isaac’s Heart can do but there are usually many other active items I’d rather take by the time you get an item like this. How can you make it better? Give more than a half second of invincibility when you use it. Have it be like, 2 seconds. Then I see the power of it. I feel like this is one of my more opinionated one’s so if you’re a Breath of Life lover, lemme know down below.
2. The Bean
Oh look another bean active item. What a common theme on this list. The Bean is pretty bad! Once a room you can fart on your enemies. It’ll do a tiny amount of damage and poison them slightly but only if you’re so close to them that they’ll likely hit you. 10/10 would take again. It’s just bad. I seriously don’t even much to say about it. How can you make it better? You can’t. It’s bad.
1. Butter Bean
There he is. You all likely expected it. Butter Bean. The best item in, I mean worst item in the game. It’s horrible. Knockback is something you never want in the game anyway so to apply it to an active item is just the largest screw you on the planet. The item is so bad that they had to make Wait What? to make you have a chance of being slightly happier when picking up Butter Bean. Even the developers of the game know it’s a meme. It’s bad and sometimes you need bad items to make you love and respect the good items. Like soymilk.
Let me know down below what items you guys think should or shouldn’t be on this list. I’d love to talk with you guys and come to a conclusion on a better Top 10 list.
Check out some of the other Top 10 Binding of Isaac: Afterbirth lists I’ve created on Reddit if you want to see where certain items fall on my list of greatness or want to see some cool Isaac shtuff.
Posted Apr 26, 2017, 6:08 PM UTC