This piece suffers from having a total of one concrete image (golden flower) in 8 lines. It feels more like a list of things, than a coherent work. What image (what actual picture) do you hope to achieve? I want to see that image. You need to show me *your* image of prowess, *your* image of a boon, *your* image of all that is and all is yearned.  

Without showing me the image, the piece becomes vague or (perhaps even worse) the piece becomes an essay. Express with more color and I think you'll have stronger reactions to the piece and find yourself more satisfied with what you said. 

> a golden flower
 
I don't particularly mind the use of emotion and abstracts but you threw *a golden flower* out of nowhere which seems contrived for rhyme.

I think the intent is a bit vague and something that is very distracting are the spelling mistakes as they break the flow of reading. However, the meter and rhyme are good and can be really built up on. 
A little bit more clarity on the intent would have been nicer (or maybe i need more IQ :p )

friendship, subtelty, prowess, power

thought, endeavour, a golden flower

those that know are taken in

to a privilege, a wholeseome kin

&amp;nbsp;

yet distracted, life defrayed

a boon is earned, a debt is paid

as tormented, so is earned

for all that is, for all is yearned

&amp;nbsp;

[x](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/69bohv/hostile_architecture/dh5mlju/?st=j2bfw8ke&amp;sh=a37d5e2a) [o](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/69cdfm/visitors/dh5mto6/?st=j2bg13es&amp;sh=2309b349)

All