r/OCPoetry•
ARYwords

Blanket Monster

Feedback Request

My happiest memory:
I am small and facing a gentle giant
disguised as the mighty blanket monster,
my arch nemesis.

I stare, calculate my chances,
plant my feet on the bed,
give my loudest ROAR!
and
JUMP
right onto the back of my frumpy foe.

With a "Huff!"
the mass buckles under my weight,
and flattens on the bed, still and silent.
This beast was no match for me!
I've won!

Then, the earthquake starts.

Shake
Shake
SHAKE!

I fly in the air!
My stomach does a flip,
a scream knocking at my lips
the bed is racing towards my face
just before impact, he catches me in his arms.

He pulls me close, and holds me tightly to his chest.
And we laugh, the monster and I, like old friends.
And as our laughter fades, and heart rates steady,
I feel warm, and safe, and loved, and happy,
In my fathers' arms.


https://oc.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/7dlhkr/neckties_and_ceiling_fans/dq19opu/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/7dokhs/a_list_of_9_things/dq1a14g/

Posted Nov 19, 2017, 5:55 AM UTC · edited

72
stevestevosteve+10•

This is really nice! Great rhythm, good imagery. Really captures the feeling of childish excitement and total trust. Feels good to read.

Thanks for sharing!

2
ARYwordsOP•

Thank you!

1
gwrgwir•

Solid work overall. Great narrative, use of imagery, and enjambment. Can't find much to critique on this.

1