I think in some places the removal of conjunctions would make the piece flow better. Go through the some of the lines where the conjunctions are, remove them, see how it sounds. 

Could you tell me why you'd remove those words?

Also, I'll keep your offer in mind.

I enjoyed this, I'd remove some words like a few "buts" and "ands", other then that it's a very good read. If you ever feeling like you need to talk, pm me. I've been there. 

i like it becaus i once wanted to just quit everything


Thank you for your kind words! Your interpretation is spot on. I will explore villanelles further - I think playing with different kinds of repetition will help my poetry. I'm glad you liked the ending.

I like the repetition of the "I quit!".  I think the "I quit" concept could work well in a villanelle. One thing I have begun to see is that dialogue seems to lend itself very well to the structure of a villanelle.  The ending paragraph was a great way to cinch the theme of the poem. I like the message of: You can't quit! You're already done! Excellent plot twist. I think the most powerful line in the poem is "I'd always crave another hit". It shows the narrator's lack of emotional strength, which is why he always quits at the things life has to offer. I think this is very well written. Not too transparent yet clear enough to get a solid message across (a quitter at life who overdoses in the end is what I interpreted).  If I misinterpreted the message, please let me know. 

This very much resonates with me. I have wanted to quit many many things in my life. Thank you for the poem.

A great poem all round and tricky since it uses a rather strict form of the stanzas. The stanzas remind me of Kubla Kahn by Samuel Taylor Coleridge. All in all, an interesting notion underlies the poem and it is well presented for the reader to understand, while the reversal in the last line gives it an edge.

Overall a good poem but i personally think you picked a bad rhyming scheme, i feel the last line of the stanzas did not add anything to the rhythm, but actually killed the flow built up by the previous rhymes, making it unsatisfying to read, the jarring shortness of those lines also didn't help. I actually liked the poem better with the last lines removed.

Also for the last stanza i think the first line flows better if you swap "although" to "though".

This was fun to read, it felt really satisfying.

"I quit", I said - I wasn't done,  
(and you could say I'd just begun)  
but the job was hard, the day was long,  
I didn't like it all along -  
I'd rather go have fun.  
&amp;nbsp;

"I quit", I said - to what I dreamed,  
my love was great, but then it seemed,  
I'd have to push, I'd have to strain,  
I'd have to suffer gruesome pain -  
I'll keep it unredeemed.  
&amp;nbsp;

"I quit", I said - to those I sought,  
they liked me too, but then I thought,  
I'd have to fight, then make amends,  
I'd have to work to keep my friends,  
I think I'd rather not.  
&amp;nbsp;

One thing, although, I didn't quit -  
I'd always crave another hit,  
and taking more than any could,  
I woke up there, and understood,  
that was my final one...  
but when I said "I quit", they said,  
"You're done."  
&amp;nbsp;


https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/7qbjsm/paper_mache_heart/dspamwh/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/7qh5tk/share_house/dspadvv/

I Quit