Salt Makes the Wounds Taste Better

You can scream in my face
but it won't change a thing
I know I let you down
I guess I'm sorry, okay
You know, the shame it runs deep
You know I'll be losing sleep
You'll still be screaming at me
In all of my dreams

Regret stains my thoughts
Anxiety leaves me lost
I put the blade to my neck
It makes me feel strong
Cuz I'm not scared at all
I know I'd never push it in
I'm just a spineless little shit
There are people that love me
And reasons to be happy
I don't know why I'm this way
I just fuck up everything
Self depreciating and mean
In love with my misery
I guess I get lost in temporary things
I know they mean nothing at all
But they're everything to me

So you can scream in my face
Just know it won't change a thing
I'm more afraid of myself
Than how loud you can be
You can say it again
with more red in your face
There's a hole in my head

I'm more mad at myself
My punishments are more fit

Drinking all night
and spitting out rage
Jealous of those
who can simply exist
I stub all my toes
on every single fucking step
I thought I was so fucking "unique"
You kicked me back off my feet
I'll just lay down this time
drink and sleep in the streets
Never worry again
Cuz its always the worst
Getting used to my curse
And cursing your God
Numbing myself
Until my mind rots
I've got more angst than any teen
So in love with my dreams
Fighting off reality
War on sobriety

So you can scream in my face
just know it won't change a thing
I'm more fucking angry
than you could ever be
I let myself down
and it's becoming routine
I'm not sorry, okay
At least, not for your fucking sake
Yes, the shame it runs deep
I'm never awake
and I'm never asleep
This fog in my head
has become my best friend

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/7qvlao/shopping_for_smiles?sort=confidence https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/7qqnp2/a_good_one?sort=confidence