Ants

Alright my dude,

The picture painted is very lucid, you are adept with figurative language, but I think you rely on it too heavily -- which is a weird criticism I know. This poem is all abstract, to bring it into the concrete for just a moment would allow a point of contrast that is (rn) not there. The leap from clouds to ants is fun but i think too vast for such a short poem, if you surrealistically continue on (in a more lengthy draft), that might make for a stronger piece. Study some Lorca, this reminds me almost of the great Spanish poets, but it needs a little more refinement. Nice job.

Okay, I like this one. Is it really absurd? Yes. Does it have no meaning? I think it does. Is the meaning lost in the absurdity? I don't think so. I think the poem tells a vivid enough story (or image) to potentially have purpose. It is a crazy piece to read, but the themes of nature and power in the piece make it hard to dismiss as nonsense. Great job.

i really enjoyed the sudden slap of reality at the end, how you brought it all back to focus (haha it's a magnifying glass joke). keep up the good work!

I feel it must be longer, I like it and the flowand story style you have, it just feel like you should add more. Also the format needs commas and periods. Structure is key. Nice work!

The title piqued my interest and I was confused by the imagery until the final two lines when it all came together. My interpretation was a subtle punchline from an unexpected joke during a conversation. Really well done.

Since you started with imagery focusing on Gluttony perhaps the two lines;

Only to be awakened and chased away by the prickling winter sun That splinters down the hillsides like broken glass

Could be reworded to continue with this idea but using word play on a mother, partner or doctor chastising them for their size or swallowing the hillsides whole?

Gotta be honest, it gives me images that are beautiful in my head. Impossible and strange images, but beautiful nonetheless. Short but sweet until a sudden snap of a harsh reality. Wether that's what you were aiming for or not, it's what I got from it, and I enjoyed it.

I got chills! First read, I appreciated the simplicity and symbolism in the reference to the clouds, the valley, the mist, and the sun.

Then those ants (poem's namesake) were blessed with a taste of warmth...

I love it!

The winter sun, if like broken glass, might shatter instead of splinter... that's the only part that wasn't really tight for me. I like the image in my head of something splintering down the hillside, but I can't picture broken glass splintering... if that makes sense.

Nice! You said a lot with few words.
Sinister warmth is a GREAT pair of words, and ants bursting into flame somehow makes perfect sense as an ending even though really? why? A kid with a magnifying glass? I don't know. It all works for me.