Very intriguing poem.  Read it a few times and wondered how it would be if the first line was removed leaving the reader wondering until the end.  But good job and interesting perspective on the soul and how elusive it can be to understand it.

I agree with the other commenter, removing the first line or maybe even moving it to the end seems more effective in making the reader curious about the topic. I do like this poem, however the first few lines come across a bit childish, specifically because of the rhyme scheme. Rhyming sky, die, fly sounds a bit simplistic and the lines end a bit abruptly and don't flow perfectly well. I LOVE, however, the last two lines. 'In the soul that I killed, The sinking soul spilled' is possibly my favourite part of the poem. This poem is great and has a lot of potential - I hope my advice is helpful!

I got that idea too. I felt the poem was either about an individual with dead character or about suicide where the body has just died. Either way I think it's a good poem but I still find "after" in the line "Just after I die" odd. That could just be my personal opinion, though.

 I was trying to represent the idea of the soul being a part of the protagonist that is already dead on the inside - killed by self destruction. The death of the protagonist is just the end of the body’s physical life, but it’s the moment when the dead soul inside can spill out into the sea.

Good work on the poem! The end comes as a well construed twist because it is not evident until the end that the protagonist is already dead. This makes me feel like "Just after I die" is a bit misleading however. Perhaps the line could be changed to something like "All the while I die" or "In the time I die" to better reflect this?

Concise and poignant. I also agree that the soul spillage should stay in the last line. For me, rhyming sea, foresee, and me is over the top. It feels like you’re trying too hard there and the flow stutters. I think your voice comes through everywhere in the poem except there.

Interesting viewpoint but the first few lines feel like they just needed to rhyme and only later in the poem you get to your point 

Where does a spilled soul go?

I wish mine would fly

Float right up to the sky 

Just after I die

But it feels all too heavy 

Thus a fall to the sea 

Is the fate I foresee 

For the one stuck in me

Finally free, it will no longer hide

Released to outside

There will surely be pride 

In the soul that I killed

The sinking soul spilled

Feedback:
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/81uhdm/the_acts_of_men/dv6f77g/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/81s0l3/all_the_poets/dv6fegi/

Inspired By: 

Harlem (Dream Deferred) by Langston Hughes
