Source
r/OCPoetry•
slothXL

Stressed Out.

Feedback Received!

The confidence of clouds on a sunny afternoon,

taunts of their carefree idleness

as Monday sends ergophobia around.

The brief sanctuary of the car ride on the way to a sign-in,

the camaraderie in whispering futile curses at institution,

stealing moments to watch the funny video going around.

Yeah. We'll survive this too;

the start of another week.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/83rstx/dead_dreams/dvlj5d5?utm_source=reddit-androi

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/83obkz/pity/dvlk5rh?utm_source=reddit-android

Posted Mar 12, 2018, 10:18 PM UTC · edited

46
magicaxis•

I was actually having a fairly decent workday until I saw this and remembered the futility. So...thanks?

You've totally captured the feeling though, the feeling of being motivated by nothing but obligation, a life reduced to going through the motions 5/7 days a week.

Also I reckon you chose your punctuation really well. I tend to lean too heavy on the comma but your new lines and semicolon were well placed :)

5
slothXLOP•

Thanks for the feedback!

2
CarlisleRose2711•

Though I like the structured nature of the poem, the futility in it isnt approachable. Its even somewhat angsty. I like your words, but it wasnt something I myself could connect to. Still, great job. Keep at it.

3
slothXLOP•

Thanks for the feedback!

1
lippins_t•

My my I can totally relate to this. The same old boring route of routine we have to pass through all day. And what keeps me going is knowing the weekend ain't that far away. This is well written and in my opinion a beautiful write

2
slothXLOP•

Thank you 😁

1