Slightly short but still very impactful and intimate. It has a very nice feeling of waking up next to your lover and wanting to experience the depths of eternity with/inside them. The descriptions of looking into their eyes with descriptions like 'hollowpoint shells', 'rusted retina' and the last two lines are the most appealing lines for me. This was a great read. Only thing that popped to mind for me would be the fifth line with 'cold steel stare'. I like the alliteration with steel and stare but I feel like just limiting it to one word could work better. Imo cold on its own works. But that's just my opinion man, others might see it a different way. Either way the poem was really good. Well done.

In the early morning

I watch you wake 

From peaceful sleep

And open your eyes wide

-

Embraced by a cold steel stare

-

*Blink*

-

Eyelids to the iron

Muffled in the covers

Flying ember

Igniting the chamber 

Of your iris

I'm absorbed in your rusted retina

As gold plated 

Hollowpoint shells

Capped with desire

Scrape past your sclera

Shooting from your sockets

Now gently press into my soft skin

And bury deep within my flesh

Feedback:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/84943m/i_dont_know_how_to_handle_criticism_so_i_made/dvnz9u1/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/84iy9j/flash_bulb_memory/dvret98/

Bloody Sheets