Oh! Also, milk is often attributed to childish/innocence so that's a really stark contrast right there \^\_\^

So first thing to notice is the fact that i don't think this is formatted correctly. Refer to the rules for help with that. I think that right off the bat, you contrast darkness with lightness in a really interesting way. 
"prison" is mostly associated with being trapped and in trouble, whereas "milk" kind of reminds me of childhood. This contrast is what i find to be the most interesting part of the poem, and I think that in the second line you should add a contrast like that, just so it carries thorughout the whole poem. Really nice work.

Like the other commenter brought up, I think the contrast between prison and milk works well. I would suggest expanding on this pieces main ideas relating to the title. I'm not sure what the middle two lines mean in relation to everything else. Thanks for posting! 

(for formatting, leave a blank line in between each line. If you want to create a stanza just put two dashes in the blank line)

I like the personification of 'prison milk' and the use of sweet flavorful nouns and the mouth-watering adjectives which describe them e.g ; "Beneath this brilliant peach... From honey and murmur'. Nice use of basic alliteration and oxymoron's, poem is simple and portrays a vivid picture. I don't completely get what you're portraying so please can you explain aswell. I think fitting in the use of Acrostic technique would make it better, also stretching it out a bit.

Agreed that the personification of prison milk is interesting and great imagery of whoever/whatever prison milk dancing beneath the brilliant peach \(I imagined it was the moon\). I imagine some kind of burial ceremony in the moonline and occurring in it some kind of burial ceremony in the mud \('dirt'\). Makes me want peach yogurt.

Prison milk is here to dance 

Beneath this brilliant peach

From honey and murmur 

To an immense cozy death

Void of galoshes and dirt 

[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/8lz0jk/comment/dzmcebk?st=JHNQCH44&amp;sh=f284d354)

[2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/8mahw9/comment/dzmc5lc?st=JHNQDYNG&amp;sh=0acf2588)

Edit: formatting 