Huh.  No kidding.  This is what you get when you pen something at 2:30in the morning.  Thanks for pointing those out!

after me, economy, yours truly. ads, ass, have. calls, default.

You could keep the rhymes and make it more comical.

Thanks for your thoughtful critique. I agree it could be more descriptive.  I'm not sure exactly what you mean by rhyming. I actually wasn't trying to rhyme so if I did it was totally unintentional.  But I'm running on exceedingly low sleep.  Again thank you.

The rhyming diminishes the seriousness and anger that is portrayed.

Best line:  Wells fucking Fargo and their army of saccharin service representatives slowly squeezing the life out of our economy 

Worst line:  Scraping together the bare minimum from my just over minimum wage job, I call sheepishly, putting on my most depressed airs. 

More imagery or more context to the story, or just lengthening this to tell more of the story would help.


1-800-416...

Oh shit! Not again, they're after me.

--

Wells fucking Fargo and their army of saccharine service representatives
slowly squeezing the life out of our economy--not to mention yours truly.

--

And the audacity of their ads?

Reestablished my ass...

--

All for a loan on a Masters degree

I'll never have.

(Hey, what can I say?  Life happened...)


--

Usually, I just dodge the calls

until payday.

Then I stave off the inevitable default;

Scraping together the bare minimum from my just over minimum wage job, I call sounding as depressed as possible.

--


So polite and seemingly contrite.

Thank you very much, I say.  

Have a good day, I say.  

I hang up.

--

I mean it's not these people's fault after all.
They're just doing their job.

--

But fuck...


Lather, rinse, repeat.


https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/91zrxg/comment/e320epe


https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/91wico/comment/e31g5wy









