I'm interested to know how different types would answer this question. Personally I would choose kindness.
EDIT: You can't answer both that would defeat the purpose of a 'rather than' question. ;)
Posted Aug 10, 2018, 9:37 PM UTC · edited
I’ll answer your question if you answer mine: Do you have kids? Once it’s no longer hypothetical, heck yes I’d want a kind soul over a smart sociopath any day. All kids are naturally thirsty learners. The hard part is teaching them empathy and how to deal with their own emotions. As a parent, your question reads like, “would you rather pump your kid full of facts and theorem, or help them function in the real world?”
Facts and theorem, they will make the world function to their own requirements.
I would rather throw my kid into a pit with the dogs and force them to fight for their food so that they will appreciate the importance of winning!
Smart, but under the umbrella of “smart” I would like them to have emotional intelligence. Being able to navigate social/business situations successfully sometimes requires kindness, but ultimately intelligence.
I’d feel more accomplished raising a smart-commanding child, than a smart but non-respected child.
I think this is the most realistic option. Smart with emotional intelligence. Most of the answers are so black and white, but I think a smart enough child will behave kindly in situations that dictate it without an emotional drive to do so. I think kindness in the initial question implied an emotional component, but with intelligence the behavioral aspects can exist without the emotional ones. I'd probably raise a sociopath.
But a well mannered and polite one. Honestly, does it matter if they don't feel emotional attachment if they care enough to fake it? I mean, for society as a whole? It seems that it would definitely be better if they had full emotional lives, but if they're an emotionally healthy drain on the species, do we really want them around?
Well I would like my child to be happy. So I would choose kindness because ignorance is bliss.
Kind. 100% a nice empathetic human being.
You're just saying that because the ENFP is listening!
Okay. Who is that? LOL
Smart, provided that they are not a psychopath.
Smart.
In this age you need every bit of intelligence you can scrape together.
Kind.
"Good Looks & Charm" have gotten me farther than any knowledge or strategy I possess (except this strategy in and of itself). And, I attribute a lot of what people find "charming" to simple, everyday, acts of kindness.
Charming. That is an excellent word and one of my favorites.
And do you think that simple, everyday acts of kindness may also be defined as good manners or etiquette?
People often become intimidated or put off, when presented with an etiquette challenge, but good manners allow everyone to be on the same page and that allows everyone to feel comfortable.
Which in and of itself, is an act of kindness, I believe.
Yeah, absolutely!
Basic manners and etiquette are one of the most common and important forms of kindness, and yet, they can go completely over some people's heads. Just having them puts you ahead of the so-called "smart" ones, IMO.
There's this quote by Gandhi that I really like. I think you'll like it too. I came across it when I got into the workforce and started doing customer service. But, it's helped me in all aspects of dealing with people, in all areas of my life. Especially with women... x)
"A customer is the most important visitor on our premises. He is not dependent on us. We are dependent on him. He is not an interruption to our work. He is the purpose of it. He is not an outsider in our business. He is a part of it. We are not doing him a favour by serving him. He is doing us a favour by giving us an opportunity to do so." - Mahatma Gandhi
So, yeah, any act that puts another's needs before one's own; goes a long way.
That is a very good quote. Do you like being in customer service?
I love history. That includes customs and manners. You might get a kick out of William Hansen. You've probably run across him before but he is an etiquette expert on BBC.
He's fussy and prissy and absolutely stoic in his defense of manners but he has a common sense approach that is based on making everyone comfortable, so that they may enjoy their experience which allows for good table talk. I do want that.
Check him out on YouTube sometime or let me know if what you think of this very old soul gentlemen who is also a cute, young, modern man in his bespoke suit.
[deleted]
That's an interesting take. Would you describe intelligence without compassion to not be intelligent or do you think they are correlated?
"Would you describe intelligence without compassion to not be intelligent or do you think they are correlated?"
Definitely,'if' you believe intelligence has its source in the Logos and it's divine archetype Jesus Christ. To have it well ordered, and appropriated to its proper end, it becomes illuminated and illuminating; so if you dispose yourself to being kind you become like your Creator, intelligent. Likewise, if you use the faculty in a way that is not in accordance with nature you're really not intelligent but the opposite-- ignorant. Thus, rationality is really a matter of cultivating true vs false knowledge, because you can be bookish smart, but still act like an unreasonable animal in many ways and conversely you can be simple (lacking book smarts) and yet genuine and radiant because your intelligence is not predicated in abstract theories/ideas but derived from a virtuous life.
Okay, not to be "that girl" but I can be "that girl" here. That's why we are on this subreddit.
I think this is an oxymoron, because studies have indicated that there is a correlation between smart and kind. If you have a smart child, in theory, they should be kind.
So if I had a kind child, they might not be smart but the other way around, I guarantee a better chance of success.
Both of my children are smart and kind. We were fortunate.
Did you actually read the article you linked??
LOL!! Evidently not!
In my efforts to rectify my mistakes, I learned an important lesson.
First, I should not have made that last comment about unlearning evil. I should not have made such a flippant remark without first defining evil.
In that spirit, I am going to improve my vocabulary and spend a few days in the study. I will get my definitions and vocabulary in line.
These conversations and discussions are important to me and I want to participate. Everyone here is heads and shoulders beyond me, in their studies of psychology. I need to play catch up.
The source below will be included in my first attempts. Anyone else care to weigh in with some good source documents?
I will now apologize for that link.
When I was searching for the study that I remembered, I was careless and should have known that this board would actually read my link.
What I missed was the little blue lines (please remember, I am a bit older and less tech savy). Those little blue lines link other articles and I did not realize that. Those would not have been my choice. While I search for the source document, here is an article from Stanford. My compliments for pointing this mistake out to me. I would expect nothing less from you guys. lol
I do. I try to be very careful but perhaps my interpretation of this article as a source was wrong. I will reread this. I'm catching up on some news now but I did want to respond to this since it is a fair question and I will reread this article. I wanted to link a source since I could not find my original article which I had remembered as a psychology study from a government-issued report.
I think we need more people being 'that girl'.
The question though was more about what you would personally value more in a person rather than the reality of kindness being correlated to inteligence.
lol, Just call me, first. or Stef. I know but the intj in me, will not allow that choice. The Mom in me will. Kind, I guess. Everyone has value and everyone can learn. You can't unlearn evil.
[deleted]
That is an idea for a very interesting thread. Can an Evil Personality (?) be taught kindness or can an inherently evil person be taught kindness?
I think they usually go hand in hand. Personally I think empathy is one of, if not the highest form of intelligence.
If you aren't kind, you aren't smart.
If you are really smart, probably you lean toward kindness...
Smart. Kindness can be learned, intelligence is permanent.
Also, I do not want a sweet-natured potato still living in my basement at forty, because being employee of the month at Walmart doesn’t pay enough for them to move out.
Smart. Kindness is nice but it's a luxury in the face of what people are capable of if you don't know how to protect yourself.
/CrusaderKings
What is this?
A sub but i don't know how to link it
Forward slash, "r", forward slash, subreddit name. But what is it about?
Don't you know ck2? It is a game really cool
Honesty and sincerity are more important for me.
[deleted]
Kind. World need more of kindness.
That question was in one of the mbti tests and I couldn’t fuckin figure it out for the life of me.....so i chose neutral! It’s very complicated for me ....as an INTJ smartness is a key trait that I respect and that contributes to my practical nature BUT then I can’t just disregard kindness simply because my fi won’t let me ...
lol, that question was also a 'question' for me. That's why I keep taking the silly test in all of the various forms. My way of seeing the questions may change but somehow my results always come in the same.
[deleted]
Exactly what I came here to say.
I don't see how people can see MBTI as somewhat akin to a horoscope when it describes our method of thought so well as to have the same perspective on a situation regardless of whether or not MBTI is involved.