Just passed 4 months HRT! Still hiding it
MtF here
I just wanted to reach out to the community because I've been very isolated in my transition.
Right before I started transitioning I was dealing with couch surfing homelessness, and the next few months basically removed me from having access to the internet, although I had at least found a steady place to live.
I'm transitioning closeted, basically. I live where I work, and the culture is conservative here. One co-worker that I have been willing to confide in told me the last transgender person who worked here (whowas FtM) was not viewed very positively. I have a lot of anxiety about this because I'm rather visibly growing breasts at this point. Any time I want to leave my house to go do things as my true self, I have to dress as a boy and carry a bag with my feminine clothing and makeup so I don't risk someone seeing. I can't tell you how much I just want to walk out my door as myself.
Other than hiding it, things are actually going rather well. My financial and living situation has stabilized and the HRT seems like it's being hyper effective for me (or maybe I'm just exaggerating in my own mind). A friend of mine even told me recently they noticed a difference in the softening of my facial features. My skin is smoother, my body hair is becoming much thinner, and like I said earlier I'm experiencing significant breast growth (they lactate too!).
On the whole, things are better. I'm no longer suicidal or filled with anger and bitterness. I do get lonely a lot though, which is why I'm beyond exited to have internet again. I spent last night obsessively watching Contrapoints and memes on r/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
Now I feel less lonely :)
Posted Aug 14, 2018, 11:10 PM UTC
I was on HRT for 9 months before I came out at work. The culture at my job at the time was supportive and my transition at work was totally fine, but I just had a lot going on in my life and I did quite a few different comings out to various groups over the course of about a year.
Anyway, if you're going to stay closeted at work for a while and are developing breasts, I highly recommend sports bras. They'll keep things squished down and make your boobs less noticable. Also, you get the side benefit of wearing a bra every day, which is validating.