I really like this poem! The imagery is very good, I like the first stanza describing following a path somewhat aimlessly, simply to see where it leads, despite that it might be dangerous/painful/risky (thee glass beneath the feet). I also like the transition into the second stanza where it seems the road is starting to get overgrown/old and cumbersome and lastly, the last line(s) of choosing to open the eyes just in the moment you hear the horn, which feels like you have to chose "to see" to be able to hear the urgency of the train coming towards you - very powerful! For the critique part I have to lines that I (jmo) would review and that's 1) "But all things must come to an end" - I know this is an extremely dense poem and that it's very hard to find descriptions that fits the economy of the poem, but I think you'd up the notch of the experience of the poem if there's anyway you could describe this line in a way that's poignant but not as literal and (yeah it's difficult) 2) "I ask m

Ah yes. Thank you for your feedback. I was referring to how the train track place is in my head. I'm daydreaming. And I open my eyes to an interruption or alarm (horn) . I probably didn't convey that very well though. Haha

I think the line "I ask myself how I got here" works really well with format of the poem, and how you keep the poem concise while being able to paint such a strong, emotion-invoking image in the mind of the reader. However, as a reader, I have to say that "I closed my eyes and I appeared" confused me a little bit. Maybe it's just an unfamiliar structure to me, but from my perspective, it interrupts the flow of the poem (just a tiny bit, though). Apart from that little nit-pick, you did a good job creating an image in the reader's mind, keep it up!

Maybe consider changing “planks” to “ties”? They’re called railroad ties or sleepers. Maybe “sleeper” would fit the tone of the poem? Up to you though, maybe plank indicates flimsy?

I like this style!

Simple and direct.

Good formatting! Easy reading.

>I closed my eyes and I appeared

This is weird? Don't understand. 

>Weeds and moss wrap around the wood

Great picture, I can feel the air. 

>A green horizontal ladder

Feels abit abstract and also shoehorned in metaphor among a such a direct tone, I feel perhaps I would like it if you said something more like. 

>Making a green and far-reaching ladder on the ground

But adjusted to fit in the flow of the poem. 

>I wander around along the track

"Around along" is weird. But I get that you wander both around and along, just the phrasing is weird. Makes me stumble every time I read it. 

>My fingers trace the chain linked fence

I always love me some tactile prods in poems. 

The ending is great. Subtle. 

Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed reading it!

The train departed long ago 

I wander around along the tracks

Curious to see how far they'll go

Broken glass between the planks

. 

Weeds and moss wrap around the wood

A green horizontal ladder

I’d climb forever if I could

But all things must come to an end

. 

I ask myself how I got here

My fingers trace the chain linked fence

I closed my eyes and I appeared

I open them as I hear the horn

. 

***

Maybe this one is better than my last? I wrote it differently than usual. Hopefully it sounds better. Please tell me what you think.

***

[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/98mtqd/summers_sentiment/)

[2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/98m6rf/slipping_on_ice/)

Train Tracks