So, how do you like my new girlfriend?
Posted Dec 30, 2009, 3:39 AM UTC
970156
Force choke the chicken.
124
86
[deleted]
1
awesome hahaha
1
[deleted]
0
Yes, because Randall Munroe was the first person ever to make that joke.
-1
I want to see Randall Munroe get over here and say that himself. He uses Reddit, it isn't too far fetched.
13
He also uses pseudonyms (well, pseudonyms that are more pseudonymous than xkcd is) to avoid attention. Or he used to, at any rate.
How do we know it isn't him?
16
How do we know you aren't him?
25
Spartacus voice
I am Randall Munroe...
16
Do we know I aren't him?
3
That thought opens the door any number of NSFW force powers
5
To me the greatest appeal of Jedi powers has always been the endless sexual possibilities they open up. It would be pretty awesome to be an ancient Jedi healing master so I could use my lightsaber to safely amputate and cauterize my gf's limbs and have all kinds of crazy amputee sex with her (it's really annoying how "amputee porn" is something of a porn cliche yet it is nearly IMPOSSIBLE to find online and when you do it's either greasy poorly lit 70's porn or on a specialty site that costs 50 bucks a month). Give her some scuba gear and mount her so that it's like I'm a mouse riding a cork on the ocean, grab an oar and wear a captains hat and pretend I am an intrepid explorer. Of course if the coast guard apprehended me and asked me what the fuck I was doing I could do the whole Jedi mind trick "move along, this is completely normal consensual activity" thing and they'd salute and send me on my merry way. When we reached shore I could pogo stick home and then I'd reattach her limbs and she'd cuddle up on the sofa with me as we watched the directors cut of Blade Runner.
Bozarking said this. I don't know where he said it, but I saved it so hard I almost died.
57
Can someone develop a "Bozarkafier"? Something that will take what starts as a normal comment and turn it into something that leaves your jaw dropped for a good 2 hours.
25
How do I... I don't even ... What. The. Fuck?
5
Yup.
3
You have the power of the force available to you and the first thing you think about is whether its safe to use at your work place?
12
I'd think Jedi Knights would be strongly discouraged from sexual misconduct during office hours.
5
What about Mace Windu? He doesn't carry a mace, he uses a lightsaber. Unless...
3
Fair point. Though come to think of it, depending on the workplace, force lightning would probably be unsafe as well.
2
Anyone for a skywalker stranger.
27
Wait, was that a question?
4
Yes it was? Why do you ask.
7
I nerd-raged for a moment; clearly you see Luke's detached hand go flying down into the core of Cloud City after he gets it cut off.
26
Why not? George Lucas has edited his old movies before, and he's only getting worse.
4
Shhh, he's listening!
3
If he were listening, he wouldn't fuck everything up so badly.
9
yeah. vader shot first. right in luke's eye.
1
Somehow this almost seems like 4chan humour...
23
It is.
32
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooold 4chan humour
14
It's funny because you don't have to hear him scream to hear it.
22
I find your lack of fap disturbing.
20
Try it out on a hot dog first.
3
Or you might rip your dick off.
7
how original. another 4chan repost
14
Uhhh...How much of reddit is original?
22
Most of self.SUBREDDIT, and not much else?
3
it's so old and rehashed I feel like calling it a 4chan repost is kind of beside the point. It's been here a few times. It's been everywhere. What does that say about me? nothing. You? probably nothing, first time for you. The whole site? not much. I remember realizing you could feed digg back to digg continuously with a 4 month gap. What was big 4 months ago on this wednesday? Was shocked then but learned it was a compliment in time, decent user retention. Saw a story hit the front page twice in one week here recently. Downvote away, been here for years, don't care about points, we are what we are.
6
The principal would like to see you immediately concerning your new after-school tutoring in grammar and sentence structure. That is all.
5
Welcome to Internet, where every post is a repost.
3
of a repost.
1
You're on a link aggregation site.
2
Do you know what an aggregate site is? You are on one. Look it up.
0
OLD
11
Old as the hills, but in response to your question, I like her a lot better than my girlfriend. :o
10
[deleted]
9
[deleted]
7
Nooooooooo!!!
6
[deleted]
4
That's impossible!
6
never gets old
4
This is in poor taste.
4
Like you know shit from shinola! You JarJar Binksing SOB!
3
So was the prequel George...
Jar-Jar Binks makes the Ewoks look like fucking Shaft
2
So, how do you like my reposting?
3
Fap or fap not. There is no try.
2
excellent. /applauds
1
I'd give my right hand for this day to just END!
2
I enjoy this thoroughly every time it's posted :D
Thanks youthgonewild!
2
Oh, and BTW.... Im your father.
Ewwwww.
2
So wait. Just so we're clear. Darth Vader is now doing at least one one of the following three things:
1: Jerking himself off with his son's severed hand and wrist.
2: Fisting himself with his son's severed hand and wrist.
3: Fucking the (I'm not quite sure how to say this) meaty part after having removed the bone.
Just so we're clear. And please excuse my while I GOUGE MY FUCKING EYES OUT OH GOD I CAN'T GOUGE OUT MY MIND'S EYE.
If there were any time that something DIDN'T need to be clearer, this would be it.
It's no different than ejaculating into a bowl of your grandmothers teeth as a way of saying hello to her in the spirit realm.
You said what we were all thinking.
I WASNT thinking that, but now I am.
Must find alcohol... must kill brain cells....
I just woke up after having a really nice dream. Now I can't decide whether it's appropriate to wipe the last 12 hours from my mind...
[deleted]
[deleted]
[deleted]
Dude, you totally called it
ahahaha yes! I remember this comment, too...there was even a best of submission if I recall, entitled something along the lines of "bozarking's spare account?" High fives all around.
Dude... only the first one actually occured to me. I feel ill.
Dutch Rudder with your son's severed hand. Huh.
1:= Darth Rudder.
Luke-->Darth
EVen worse, Darth could be using the hand on Leia!!!!
Sounds better to me.
Is that some weird kind of 3 way incest?
Yes, keeping it in the family...
Wrist sock
4: Using Luke's fingers as sounding pegs.
Just so we're clear.
And on the first date? Vader is a player.
you are one sick mother fucker.
Welcome to the Internet