Congratulations to reddit's Best of 2009!
blog.reddit.com/2010/01/congratulations-to-re...Posted Jan 20, 2010, 4:24 PM UTC
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I, too, was left in the cold.
Let's go get a beer, U_U.
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I honestly came here to see if you've killed yourself yet
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Alas, no. But, I'm suffering a far worse fate: homework.
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Ah yes, the fear of famous redditors everywhere
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There is no worse fate.
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Have you and P-Dub joined forces?
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Sorry, but that's the funniest thing I've read all week
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/' " \ If by beer you mean a bottle of Wild Turkey, then I am waaaaay ahead of you
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If by Bottle of Wild Turkey, you mean lines of cocaine, then no you're not.
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/' " \ If by lines of cocaine, you mean huffing gold paint, then I'm still ahead of you.
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You're not cool enough to hang out with Unicode_Unicorn. Sorry.
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I always wondered, what exactly are your feeling towards the 'artist' Soulja Boy?
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I feel your pain karma, round of shots on me.
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Now now, brother. We may have been rival contenders for best commenter, but that doesn't mean you can just go off with some horny horse and get drunk without even thinking about inviting me.
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:'-( I'm sorry Unicode Unicorn, can you ever forgive us? I voted for you!
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There's always next year. :(
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Yeah, about that...
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Looks like we'll have to take down LOD ourselves.
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me too. me too.
2
I can't help but notice I didn't win a single one of these. Clearly there must have been some sort of error in the tabulation process...
What the...? Enhance!
I KNEW I was cheated!
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Dammit. I went back and checked.
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Then my work here is done.
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Time to start preparations for the bestof2010!
OH WAIT. YOU CAN'T. I STOLE IT.
willis77 rides away on horse into the sunset, cackling maniacally
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At least I stole bestof2012 a few weeks ago. Since the world's going to end then, I'll be the owner of the last yearly bestof subreddit!
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Fear not, we'll steal it back.
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Too long have us humble shire-folk labored under the tyrannical oppression of the Admin Gods! This subreddit will not fall! A great Digg army of small-minded grunts migrates quickly from the East. Together with the Slashdot dragons, we will hold the admin-knights off at the battle of bestof2010. They have root privileges, but we have the precious. FORRRRRR ROHHHHAAAAAAAANNNNNN
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This man is no liar. I've seen him do terrible, terrible things to chickens.
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This chicken is no liar. I've seen him do terrible, terrible things to men.
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I see what you did there.
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We need someone to accept on Bozarking's behalf...he has left the building
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I'm kind of disappointed that he won, actually. It seemed he got votes just because he was the latest thing to catch our attention. If he'd been commenting in January '09 rather than December, no one would remember him.
Not that I'm losing sleep over "Best of Reddit" results. Hah.
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The best comment is from a month ago as well, I think us redditors have a short memory.
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Bingo. The only way to get a halfway-decent "best of 2009" is to allow nominations all year, then choose the most popular ones for final voting at the end.
What we have now is more "best of the last week or two that people can idly remember".
I mean seriously - bozarking for best commenter of the year? One or two dumb spiels about wanting to fuck his sister is better than the hundreds of pages of insightful, poetic, compelling human stories, analysis, insightful ideas and epiphanies I've read on reddit over the course of the whole year?
Bullshit - he's just a flash-in-the-pan meme that people temporarily recognised, so he got the votes. If people still remember him by name in six months time I'll eat my hat. Two hats, in fact. With a side of shoes.
It's an insult to all the people on reddit who actually do provide skillfully-written, engaging, interesting content, nominating a lame Readers Wives' wannabe like bozarking.
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Speaking as a game-player, it's all a game. Bozarking did exactly the right thing, as did Necrophiliac, as did wrench_hands - go hard, go fast, go funny, and then vanish like a fart in the wind before anyone can really get used to you. Does anyone really think they would have made a movie about Richie Valens if he'd lived long enough to tour the casino circuit? But hint at unplumbed brilliance and lo and behold, you're an instant legend.
It's actually far easier to rack up karma as a new account than it is as an old account. During my hiatus I swapped usernames every week; one of my accounts has like 5k karma. And yes - go for the joke, go for that which can be read in five seconds or less, and plant it early on. Either that, or write absurdism - call it the 4chan effect. People like reading titillating things that they don't have to consider the reality of, and if everyone is talking about you, everyone has something to talk about. Get into the habit of it and you start getting lampreys; I think there was a time when Karmanaut couldn't post anything without immediately going to -4 because the grumblies would downvote everything he said on principle. On the other hand, philoj had amassed 70k karma or so in a couple years (and this was prior to six months ago, back when that was hard) and nearly nobody noticed when he vanished. The chattering class does not reward consistency or long-term contribution, they reward lolcats and Facebook screengrabs.
This whole "best of" thing really does nothing more than put a target on your back (EDIT: and a cowpie after your name - sweet jesus am I glad to have dodged that one!). It inhibits your ability to say anything just for the sake of saying it, because your "audience" expects something "worthy of bozarking." 'cuz here we are - debating the greatness of a dude who posted a few (very) funny bits of absurdism as if he were Basquiat. But much like teh funny and teh heartstrings didn't go away when Necrophiliac called it quits, it isn't going to go away now. 911wasaninsidejob is still around, as is CuntSmellersINC... only now everyone enjoys their wit without any expectation. It's really better for everyone.
(so why are you still here, asshole? We were enjoying your absence...)
'cuz half the time I wrote something interesting under another alias, somebody (or multiple somebodies) guessed it was me. I can't hide and it's a pain in the ass staying hid. I realized this when someone asked an acoustics question and I discovered that I had the choice of not contributing at all... or owning up to the fact that for every 10 people who enjoy my being here there will be a few angrily stalking me and that fuckit, I can take 'em in a fight.
But the whole "best of" thing? It's bullshit. It aids no one. It recognizes the wrong things. And the people who care recognize your words anyway; raising your awareness amongst the chattering class does nothing but increase the mess.
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Jokes always seem to win over substance. So it goes.
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I would like to nominate this as Best Comment of 2010.
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[deleted]
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One or two dumb spiels
The fuck?
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You have a point, but I don't agree on the fact that he will be forgotten that fast, i'm ready to bet these two hats with you that a lot of people will remember him in six months actually.
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Boring! <yawns>
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What's wrong with being incredibly funny? That's just as deserving as any other upvoted comment. Bozarking was damned funny enough to beat out all the insight and analysis any other redditor had to offer.
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he only way to get a halfway-decent "best of 2009" is to allow nominations all year
Perhaps it could even be a subreddit! We could call it..... bestof!
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Actually, bozarking has been commenting under the radar for a while but he would rampantly delete his comments. He just did his thing but reddit as a whole didn't really notice it, only those in the thread that he was commenting at. Then he got best of'ed a couple of times and there you go.
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Plus nomdeweb submitted the Teehee! one to r/WTF and it hit the front page.
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While I completely agree on bozarking, the best submission is from 11 months ago. So at least there's that.
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I wish I had have read your guys' comments before commenting.
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What comments?
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Whose guys? Not my guys. Not my guys, not my problem; that's what I say.
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To be fair, bozarking had been commenting for a lot longer than he'd been popular. He would just delete his old posts.
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Did you just delete the word 'delete'? Crafty...
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Me too. If you look at the vote tallies, redGPz - somebody who truly has helped people and contributed to the community - got less than a tenth of the votes that bozarking did. bozarking was an entertaining novelty account (well, from what I gather - I never heard of him until the nominations), but didn't really contribute any meaningful, insightful comments.
That being said, I don't particularly care.
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So what if he wasn't meaningful or insightful? What's wrong with simply being very funny? Why is that less deserving of the award?
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He's a one-hit-wonder. If he had consistently made witty, funny posts over the course of several months, then I wouldn't mind. However, all he did was write a few posts about incest within the last couple months. Does that really outweigh contributors who have been making strong posts over an entire year?
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Maybe LookofDisapproval could do his signature schpiel right about now.
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I'm kind of disappointed that he won too. It was good for a laugh but I was hoping someone with more substance would win that one.
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It seemed he got votes just because he was the latest thing to catch our attention. If he'd been commenting in January '09 rather than December, no one would remember him.
That's also why movie studios release their Oscar contenders at the end of the year, closer to when voting happens. All the movies that open just after New Years are the type that have no hope of Academy glory.
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I was in a bit of a drunken haze the whole of last week. Why did he leave? Did he have any final words?
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[deleted]
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:(
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Goodnight, sweet prince. May flights of incestuous angels sing thee to thy rest...
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Which is too bad, really. The IAMA subreddit has been surprisingly devoid of brother/sister incest AMAs lately.
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Sniff...this is worth a try.
bozarking...
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And on such an auspicious day. It's the emptiness that hurts; he abandoned us in our time of need. I like to comfort myself with the thought that somewhere, somewhere out there in the 'meatsphere', there is a woman at a bus stop being stared at. Every time a cousin thinks 'should I?' of his slow but attractive blood relative He will be there. Whenever a brother innapropriately grazes against his sister and feels an awkward sensation, He will populate the silence of their downcast gazes.
tl;dr: Bozark is somewhere making someone want to shower right now; he has moved on to law suits and real windows.
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We did not pay enough tribute to Him. I offered Him beautiful poop videos while everyone else sat and watched him fade away. You did this Reddit! YOU DID THIS!!!!!!!!!!
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In all honesty, I think it is more likely that the authorities caught up with him. The man was a walking evolutionary cul de sac.
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Hmm. I think this is what did it.
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he has been reborn
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Nooooooooo, Bozarking! Come back! I got you a flavored enema and everything....
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I'll accept on his behalf.
Done and done.
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I once left the building through the window of the 42nd floor while a bomb was going off, made a backflip and landed on my dragon pet's back and flew back to safety in my castle on the mountaintop.
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[deleted]
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Came to say this.
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I came here and wasn't planning on saying anything. But Seeing as you like to tell people what's on your mind, i thought you might like to read what's on mine..Also boobs.
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I like the way you think.
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WarToad's comment warmed the cockles of me heart, so I'm glad he won. Congrats to all.
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I cried. again....
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Really? I only cried after my first time.
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That's what...she said. Sorry I had to. You made me.
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That's what she said.
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congratulations, you get the joke
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I did the first time. Tonight, though, I re-read it with my live-in boyfriend reading over my shoulder (laptop in couch). And he cried! That has some magnitude to it.
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Maybe below the cockles. Maybe in the sub-cockle area. Maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidney...
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Maybe even in the colon, we don't know.
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What are birds? We don't really know.
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I could easily tell I reading reddit's Comment of the Year. Four comments down, IDriveAVan is already saying, "I like to convince myself that I shit tobasco sauce."
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Wow, thanks guys!
:O there's something next to my username!
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Looks like a golden nugget. Perhaps the fine folks at Cash4Gold could help you claim a profit here...
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You know they feed all that gold to gold zombies. America don't be fooled, you're feeding heathen beasts! Gold zombies are planning to take over.
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Eek! A bug!
smacks q
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ooh
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Whew, I got him. You can still enjoy your victory!
Also... told you so ;)
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aww :)
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Huh. I wonder how long that's going to stay there for.
Also, if you friend yourself and post in r/tldr, you'll be "qgyh2 [Statue, F, S, M]" Can I get a screenshot of that?
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His Noodly Appendage has blessed us all.
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You definitely deserved it, though I'd like to see them rename it to the "qgyh2 award" next year and give it to someone else for a change.
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:O there's something next to my username!
It's a poppler!
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I have to say this, it's a bit distracting.
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Wow, that thing looks pretty terrible. I hope they don't keep them forever.
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They'll disappear sometime tomorrow. We'll bring them back next year, though, so if you'd like to submit a replacement (that fits into 8 pixels tall, 11 wide), we'd love to have it.
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I think it'd be a really tough job to fit anything meaningful into that size without it looking a bit crummy. I'd probably go with just a 'B' for 'Best of' or something.
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You could always make it larger than 8x11, it's only going to be there for 2 days so it's not really going to be a problem.
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I think that would be a bad aesthetics / unobtrusiveness tradeoff.
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[deleted]
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I see gold.
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No thank you. tldr is probably my favorite subreddit :)
Congrats on two years in a row!
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Congrats MrGrim! imgur is the best free thing on the internets right now, you are a scholar and a gentleman
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Agreed. I'd give my account to him.
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Seriously though, I have everyone at work using it and people are really amazed on how well it works.
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Very glad that MrGrim + Look of disappointment won. Congrats y'all!
EDIT: Wow...that's what I get for commenting on a Reddit post before I get out of bed in the morning. Good thing my priorities are straight though.
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Look of disappointment
Son, I am disapprove.
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ಥ_ಥ ...Beautiful.
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I tried to say that in emoticon form but the masses downmodded me =(
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[deleted]
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ಠ_ಠ
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[deleted]
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Submitter of the Year: qgyh2
I think we should give qgyh2 a life-time award for best submitter already.
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He's not as well known for some reason—probably because he doesn't comment as much—but maxwellhill has been a redditor for longer and has more link karma.
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Why thank you, Moz but I am simply an old-fashion content provider and really not much good for anything else ;)
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He's probably going to win it every year of his life anyway.
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I can confirm that the best of 2009 is better than the best of 2010.
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Congratulations to everyone! I think all of the winners are very deserving of their awards! However, I am sad that the now-defunct bozarking won over others who've been a community staple for much longer.
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If by "much longer" you mean "a few more months", then yes.
While I won't argue against Karmanaut's involvement in the community, his tenure is not one of the things I'd draw attention to.
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Well, I can't check how long bozarking was around as the account has been deleted. But he only became very well known 'round these parts a couple months ago, quickly becoming a meme. It seems to me that it's the short-term memory of voters at work here; karmanaut hasn't been very active these last few months, and bozarking was the account au courant. (Active being, of course, defined by karmanaut's own ridiculously prodigious standards.)
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I've found you! My quest for your destruction is refreshed with fervent tenacity!
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[deleted]
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C'mon man, just stop it already. I knew one of the karmanaut fanboys were going to be on here complaining that he didn't get the award.
karmanaut has received more than enough acclaim for the year, it's OK for others to get some recognition as well. The votes have been cast, the community has spoken - don't spoil it with this nonsense.
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What nonsense? Voicing my opinion that giving an award to someone who just deleted their account makes me wish it went to someone with more roots to the community?
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[deleted]
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You forgot to say 'and imma let you finish, but..'
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Oh. Right.
Yo, bozarking, I'm really happy for you, I'ma let you finish, but karmanaut is one of the best videos of all time!
Or something like that.
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I lost. I let you down Emma :(
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carlH got robbed!
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It's a circle of jerks!
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r/Trees still is the true best subreddit for me. <3
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Sure is buddy. I'll light up to that my friend.
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Congratulations! I couldn't care less about these people!
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You said it
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Ah, this should supply ample reading material until lunch time.
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Nope. Took 5 minutes. Damn.
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Not at all surprised that the top comment was in the last month, and that bozarking only started getting huge really recently.
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So glad for WarToad and IAMA... congrats to the rest.
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Came to post that
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Holy crap! Wasn't expecting that. I deleted my account cause I felt Bozarking had kind of evolved into a character ever since the Teehee! comment and I was starting to feel boxed in and writing posts about ass and incest that didn't come from the heart. The fun was in coming completely out of left field and being able to unselfconsciously try to write the funniest/most screwed up stuff I could think up. The response had started to shift from "Jesus fuck what the christ did I just read" to "Bozarking you loveable rapscallion!" I was starting to feel like Homer near the end of the Stonecutters episode.
The most fun I ever had on this site was the "two jars of jam" comment on the Hayden Pannitiere gif and I knew I wouldn't be able to recreate that as Bozarking. I'm still going to post here just under different names. I just want to say thanks to the Reddit community for being so awesome. I'd tried posting on Digg but was pretty much instabanned after my first few comments. There's none of the weird Byzantine internet politics and hierachies you find on most websites and forums, I've even seen people write "wow, I've never thought about it that way before" which I thought never happened online. Anyhow I just wanted to say thank you to everyone on Reddit for being so receptive to my nonsense.
I wish I had a classier way to prove I really am bozarking. http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/90lbd/hentai_scenes_youd_like_to_see_a_girl_gets/
I waved chicken bones over our servers, and the orientation they took when I threw them at jedberg indicate that you are telling the truth.
Well either that or you took over bozarking's computer and/or house, killed him and/or possibly ate him, and are wearing his head as a hat. The chicken bones were a bit fuzzy on that question.
You guys need better equipment... and possibly therapy...
What are you talking about? Using chicken bones is only marginally more hacky than cobbling something together in perl. I stand by our methods.
Yes, Master. I will be waiting in my lamp shall you need my services in the future.
blink
Hell, I'd take the chicken bones over Perl any day.
You know, I could say the same about you! :)
Yeah, you want to give the Calendar Girl in Chief some "therapy," don't you jedberg?
And more chicken bones
Perhaps an analyst/therapist?
What about an analrapist?
So i take it you have the ability to track down any novelty account, exposing their identity for all of reddit to see...
::deletes account KeyserSosaSucks::
I'd be careful with those chicken bones. If you use them to gain your nation's freedom, Pat Robertson might call down an earthquake all over your Voodoo ass.
Perhaps the award could go to bozarking_saver instead? Only if he was to give up his account and not post anything original, of course...
[deleted]
Even if the second part is true, the spirit of BozarKing would live on in someone that depraved, as well as his courage if he devoured the heart.
please negotiate with bozarking to save/backup/restore bozarking's glory, even if just under the moniker deleted.
Amateurs! should've used the VB GUI to... well, y'know
[deleted]
I believe you.
...so if you win an award you get a steaming pile of dung between two brackets? now I'm doubly glad I only made it to the nominations...
a steaming pile of gold dung
Here let me blow that up for you
Zoom but no enhance?
quick, run some csi karate on that image!
does it look like it's smiling to anyone else?
That's what bozarking would have wanted.
Or even if you don't, it seems.
I am so keeping my trophy for as long as possible.
I will sleep better at night knowing that bozarking was a figment of your imagination, and not some guy hiding behind the curtains watching his sister fall asleep.
Can't it be both?
...and he's creepy again.
HERE WE GO AGAIN! (♫Da dadadaaa, da-da-da-da-da-daaaa!)
You really made the right decision in retiring bozarking because you were dead on the money with this:
It was getting nauseating seeing redditors clamor over each other trying to make a bozarking reference every time someone said something gross and sexual. Reddit was turning bozarking into a cheap in-house meme and if you hadn't pulled the plug when you did, I don't doubt that we would have been seeing Official Reddit Cuil Narwhale Bacon Bozarking posters for sale.
Holy shit, you're bozarking. I feel somewhat responsible for your leaving, so I guess I'm sorry. You should definitely do more writing though, even if not in the form of bozarking. You and flossdaily are my favourite people on reddit.
Although it breaks my heart to know that what you said is not true, you do seem to know a lot about porn.
That part sadly is true.
That's why I, at some point, thought you were completely serious about some of the things you've done. Before that comment, you were pretty normal and liked describing porn in detail, so it helped build the character.
Have any plans for some more writing?
I'm going to try my hand at drawing a syndicated panel comic. Most of my posts here were a way of blowing off steam due to how frustrated I was trying to come up with ideas. My problem was that my brain went into "professional cartoonist mode" whenever I started writing and would attack me with awful ideas like "A weightloss reality show for whales called "the last 5 tonnes". I'm of course not going to send off a package of deranged comics about enemas and incest to Kings Features syndicate but they will definitely reflect the dark/absurd aspects my sense of humor I avoided when I first started writing.
If you really are bozarking, consider doing a verified AMA?
That's an idea, I guess they could verify by checking IP addresses or something. I avoided doing an AMA as Bozarking cause the thought of answering all those questions in character was pretty daunting.
A submission that died on the vine I'm pretty sure my accounts had been understandably blocked by the askreddit admins.
Actually, it got marked as spam, not done by a mod.
If jedberg validated it, then you can get a verified AMA, just PM me when you put up the link.
If you are he...you may want to visit This Post...it's gonna be like visiting your own funeral (but a fun one where you're in the casket and jump up while the priest is saying a prayer for you and you can yell "JUST KIDDING!" and everyone will cheer and be happy)
If jedberg validated it, then you can get a verified AMA, just PM me when you put up the link.
Here's an archive. These literary classics mustn't be lost.
Thank You. And I found this Gem when trying to look up the old Plorf guy who gained 16,000 or so karma in one day.. from what Ive heard? It looks like though those comments weren't saved some how.
So, what exactly is involved in the act of bozarking?
Bozarking is now a verb?
I'm bozarking right now.
.....ew.
Did you have to get your sister drunk first?
You're bozarking in it.
[deleted]
I always thought it was a participle.
Participle isn't a form of verb?
I always thought he was the king of the bozars.
I felt kind of bad after I inadvertently spawned the "hey guys call for Bozarking by saying his name 3 times!" thing by PMing you within 10 seconds of the third person posting, creating an instantaneous reply.
Could you post a link for the "two jars of jam" comment?
not sure because i never saw the original post, but this looks like it, as posted and quoted by zeabrid:
http://www.reddit.com/r/bestof/comments/aay1v/i_take_two_jars_of_jam_and_empty_them_into/c0gor3y
Oh hey there. If I remember correctly, this was the first post of his to gain this much attention (and be deleted within such a short amount of time of him posting it).
cheers, so that is it?
NSFW:
http://stealmylife.com/posts/bozarking-i-hope-its-a-troll-nsfw/
otakuman11 you loveable rapscallion!
I'm the founder of the Reddit Intramural Team Fortress League. We recently added two expansions, and one of them I named after Bozarking, your greatest masterpiece. Each of the teams has their own ascii tag. `⊂⊃›‹ ,ಠ_ಠ , ‽‽‽, and ≈≈≈, but team Bozarking has no ascii tag. You would do me the greatest honor if you would create the tag for our team.
Once again, thank you for your posts. Thank you.
I'd be honored to. I don't really know much about ascii and whatnot but maybe †-Hëë!
I am most chuffed. You are most welcome my good sir.
Awesome. http://www.tamasoft.co.jp/en/general-info/unicode.html might be a help. Once again, I want to thank you for your posts. They always made my day.
Huh. Well, that doesn't exactly prove you're bozarking. Can we get some mods to check IP address logs or something?
From the user's history:
Sounds like Bozarking to me.
That is actually relevant and quite funny in the context of the submission being commented on.
I'm fine with that.
Was this comment the impetus for ending it?
Sort of. I felt a few weeks ago that Bozarking had run his course and was mostly commenting on the Bozarking, Bozarking, Bozarking, threads cause it was fun. I wrote a post about throwing tomatoes at call girls that I was kind of meh on and got an immediate "you're trying to hard" response.
I've watched commenters on other sites go through "Fat Elvis" stages and thought it was best just to end it. It's not like I can't take criticism or anything as much as it confirmed my heart wasn't in writing Bozarking posts anymore. I've actually been pretty shocked at how crazy the response was since they were mostly written as drunken attempts at writing the Aristocrats joke/Derek and Clive routines. Definitely been a weird self confidence boost. My dream ever since since I was 7 (I'm 22) was to draw a syndicated panel comic and I might actually give it a shot now.
[deleted]
Bozarking is dead! Long live Bozarking!
His name is Robert Pulson
His name is Robert Paulson
we appreciate you. i will sorely miss that loveable rapscallion.
Thank you for proving that trolling, as an art form, is not dead. And I have to respect killing it while it's still going strong instead of letting the whole thing jump the shark.
We loved Bozarking, but just like any good thing, it must end. We thank you for ending it gracefully. I, for one, look forward to more of your characters.
You still got it at least!
I bet all those other people nominated for commenter of the year now feel a bit like John Ashcroft did after the 2000 elections (where he lost to a smoking corpse).
I've always wondered whether bozarking should be read as 'bozar king' or the gerund of 'to bozark'.
[deleted]
stop deleting shit, it's fucking lame
Well, whoever you become, where ever you go, I salute what you are bringing to these interwebs, though without a doubt you have many people concerned over the veracity of anything you posted as Bozarking. I guess it was all an act, though the thought that anything you had posted was based on truth really made it that more unnerving, yet hilarious. I tip my cap to you good sir, and the next time I come across a post that leaves me wondering whether I should be aroused or sickened, I shall ask, have I been... bozarked?
why didn't you just retire it? blindly change its password so you would not be able to login anymore..
[deleted]
I'll be honest - I just don't get the whole bozarking thing. I've seen this happen on a number of forums - someone who is pure abusive bozo really seems to attract the adoration of the crowds. I think it's the same thing that makes people love the Three Stooges so much, because I never got them either.
The folks that have really contributed towards reddit as a community got shafted because of a clown who was flavor of the day when the vote was held.
[shrug]
Don't be a hater.
"The folks that have really contributed towards reddit as a community got shafted because of a clown who was flavor of the day when the vote was held"
Sounds like every election, ever, to me.
You are inspirational. Never change!!!! :D
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Dunno if you saw it but this post , which otakuman11 edited in, is definitely along the lines of what bozarking stated.