No, it's not a metaphor, I just wanted to apologize

​

To spiders,

I’m sorry I hated you,

I’m sorry I hurt your family members,

And I’m sorry I threw books and shoes at you,

Even though I never really got around to killing you,

I was too scared to get that close,

And I formally apologize,

I accidentally broke webs,

When I actually didn’t mean to,

But what am I supposed to do?

You just look so..weird,

So monstrous,

With spindly deformed limbs,

And fangs,

Hairy legs,

And a bad reputation,

Even though I’ve never been bitten,

So like,

What I’m trying to say is,

I’m sorry for hating you when all you did was exist,

I mean,

Really that’s not so reasonable,

When I hate flies,

And you eat flies,

And we can agree on that,

And no this isn’t a metaphor,

Spiders aren’t anything but spiders,

I just wanted to apologize,

Because I know what it’s like to be hated for existing,

And I think we can agree on that,

And truthfully,

I understand how it feels,

To have someone knock down something you’ve worked so hard on,

And I have sometimes felt like nobody wants me around,

Or they don’t know I’m there,

To feel small,

But in a bad way,

In a vulnerable way,

The way that means anyone could crush you,

If they wanted,

And this isn’t a metaphor,

But like,

If this was a metaphor,

I think the spider would be me,

Because I have hated myself for quite a long time,

And I have been scared of myself,

And sometimes when I look in the mirror,

All I see is hairy legs,

Fangs,

I look so..weird,

A bad reputation,

All I see is a spider and a fly,

I don’t know why,

I am both,

I am destroying myself,

Though I never really got around to killing myself,

Maybe I was scared to get that close,

If this was a metaphor,

If I was the spider,

I think I’d like to apologize to myself,

For hating me all these years for existing,

For being scared,

For cutting myself up,

And breaking down the things I worked so hard on,

But this is not an apology to myself,

And no, it's not a metaphor,

I just wanted to apologize,

To spiders.

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