Not one part of me wants to stay away;
still, I do.
Easily, the thought of you could harbor
and consume
me.
If I let you, you could place my heart in your teeth,
bite into its tenderness and taste my love,
have it as a treat...
but out I will bleed,
while you make me believe
I am alive.
Satine
Posted Jul 17, 2019, 1:26 AM UTC
I'm not sure if you're familiar with the concept of limerence, but that's what this poem really reminded me of- loving/obsessing over someone to the point of your own demise. I like a lot of your language choices; harbor is so interesting, because it conjures safety and home, so juxtaposed with being consumed is quite striking.
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I absolutely love this. I get the feeling this poem speaks of love with trust issues. The opening and ending stanza is so good, it resonates with my very core! I really have no hard criticism to give on this, it's just perfect. Keep loving each other, let it take it's time. It'll be worth it in the end. Don't want to rush things - that can be a disaster. Trust me! Hope to see more from you. :)
I have no useful feedback for this one. It's awesome, beautiful, and painful.
Thank you all so much for your kind words.
Hauntingly beautiful, and overwhelmingly good. Seriously though keep writing your awesome, the wording you used: "but out I will bleed" solidified your uniqueness as a writer and tbh felt like a breath of fresh air. Loved it! :)