In response to this request.
She was a Lesser Spotnose Guenon. She did a lot of things, but flinging poo wasn't one of them. Ask away.
Edit: These are what my mom believes to be Abu's bones. Any professionals out there who can say for sure?
Posted Sep 12, 2010, 8:20 PM UTC · edited
heh. Never thought i'd get to ask this twice but here goes
My good mate John had a monkey, one of those small ones, similar to yours. I walked into the room and he was carefully wanking it with his finger and thumb. The monkey was laid back in bliss. I said, "What are you doing John?!" He replied all casual and completely unabashed. "Wanking my monkey"
It turns out he had to do it almost weekly or the little fucker would go ape, running about and pulling at Johns hair he had scratches all over his arms. Weekly wanking calmed him down.
So, how often do you have to wank yours?
Scratch getting a monkey off my list.
It was a female, so never.
I'm sure what John was doing was helpful, but I find it hard to believe that that is absolutely necessary.
If he didn't it would clamp itself to Johns head screeching and thrusting.
Every guy reading this is shaking head his in complete understanding
Ahaha, poor John. Did he try buying it a stuffed animal to hump?
I read a book about a biologist who acquired an owl. She would have to regularly subject her arm to humping and a nonstop siren-like screeching for the owl's mental stability.
That's awful. We actually had a pet owl while living in Malawi, but only for a couple of months during her infant stage. She slept in the closet by day, and would hop around and eat crickets we'd catch for her. I'm sure they're a lot different when they get older though.
They look like little gremlins when they're little! The book is called Wesley the Owl, it's really well-written for an animal book. :)
If you actually have to do this with a monkey someone must have invented a better way to do this...I'd just set up some kind of a wooden apparatus with a flesh light attached to it and teach the monkey to use it.
Did she double as a butler and bring you things on a cute little tray? I hope so.
You wouldn't believe how many people ask me that. If I gave her a tray, she'd be disinterested, or smash it around and never give it back. Ah well.
But could she rollerskate???
No she was a blader... the hardest part for her being telling us she was gay ;)
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I don't really know how to rate her intelligence. Definitely devious, but didn't do any of the things people imagine because of Friends or wherever people get their monkey info.
We got her under some odd circumstances (see mnp's Q), so we probably wouldn't get another. Neat pet, but was becoming more and more territorial all the time, so it's hard to say. It's like recommending people have dogs: each breed is different and each individual is different. A lot of work, but easy to make friends when you're a kid with a monkey.
She knew her name (Abu), but wouldn't necessarily come when called. Would just respond to hearing it.
She bit me a couple of times, which was scary. Once, she got her tail slammed in the door and was just confused (when she was very small). Another time, she was just being a bitch and I was reprimanding her. She had her head down in what I thought was genuine remorse until I got closer and she grabbed my ear with ninja-like speed and bit me right on the nose.
She was always happy to be outside on the leash. It would get tangled in trees from time to time, so required a bit of watching, but OK other than that. Could also walk her around on a short leash. She liked sitting on your shoulder while you walked or roller bladed.
She lived about ten years, but wasn't fully grown by any means. She got loose at our cottage up north while we were out. Not sure exactly what happened, but she was unfamiliar with the area, so could've been anything. My mom found some remains of an animal that she swears are Abu's, but it's all speculation. I could post some pics of the bones if there are any Veterinarians or other professionals who may be able to positively identify them.
I don't think I can live in the same house with another primate that tried to eat my face.
You're hanging out with the wrong women.
I think he's just single. I haven't met a woman yet that didn't try to do this.
bit me right on the nose
You're lucky she wasn't angry enough to go for the eyes. I've heard that a ten pound monkey and a 200 pound man are about equally matched.
I'm sorry but I like to think that I would beat the living crap out of that monkey.
You'd like to...but you shouldn't.
She was under ten pounds, but extremely strong. If she was mad or scared, she might bight you, but usually just to try to establish dominance. If you could ignore the pain of the bite and just stare her down, she'd leave you alone. Never saw her go for the eyes attack anyone beyond a bite.
Was she affectionate? How much did she respond to communication (was she receptive to your moods, like dogs are, but, more so?)
She was affectionate, but not all the time. She had an unbelievable sense of how exactly you were feeling (very receptive to your moods). If you were confident and unafraid, she would treat you well (play with you or pick through your hair), but if you were nervous she could be very aggressive with you.
She usually respected men immediately, but women and children (including prepubescent boys - I think it was a voice thing) were lower on her pecking order.
So.. about the poo flinging?
also
Do you live in the states, if so which one?
How expensive are they annually?
Are they easy to train/house train?
I live in Canada.
They are not very expensive annually (as I recall - was younger). She would eat just about anything (from candy to dog kibbles), but we'd try to keep it healthy of course. Other then that, a lot of the cost was just replacing things she'd destroy. I'll ask my mom about veterinary bills, because I was younger and that wasn't really my realm.
I think it depends a lot on the species. Abu (her name) certainly wasn't trained, although may have been more trainable. This wasn't an issue when she was smaller because she could run around and not do too much damage, but as she got older/bigger we had to keep her in her room (caged off the old mudroom), or on a leash (short one when walking, long one when in the woods out back).
Oh, about the poo flinging...
She just didn't toss poo around. I don't know if she's not of the poo-flinging breed, or if it was a result of her being raised in captivity, or what. She just didn't.
She would always need to be on a perch (branch, ledge, window sill) to pee, and when she was younger she could be perched on your shoulder and you'd feel a warm, wet, stream of monkey piss running down your back. Brutal.
Thank you for the ama.
How, and how well, did you provide for her extensive social needs? The zoo link from the other thread is not encouraging here about primates as pets. When you got her, was all this an informed decision, or was it a surprise?
Our family lived in Ghana, West Africa for a year when I was younger. A lot of monkeys are poached for their paws, skulls, etc, which are sold in the black market. She was a little orphan monkey (very young and malnourished), so we took her in. I guess that shows you that the decision was impulsive and uninformed. My mom tried to socialize her through the African Lion Safari nearby. She took to it ok, but was fairly aggressive, and to be honest I don't think she knew she was a monkey at that point (a couple of years old). She got along well with dogs, cats, and other animals.
Do you remember if there were any legal hurtles you had to get over when taking a monkey from Ghana to Canada? That seems like the type of thing that would take years worth of paperwork to get the various countries / airlines to agree on.
Well, it was about sixteen years ago but I'm sure it's much different now. Basically we had to have a little crate built of the right dimensions to bring her back in. We also had to get her some shots (not sure which ones). Also, they also quarantine the animal for up to six months when you bring it here, however, since we had had her as a pet for at least that amount of time, we were told that if she'd had anything serious, we would be very ill or dead already - I'm a fan of that logic.
I believe the word you're looking for there is "hurdles". I'm not trying to be a dick, just helpful, hopefully.
Did you spank it?
This is one of the more common questions along with the butler one. No, I did not 'spank my monkey' ;p
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I gave her a swat a couple of times when she'd bitten me or someone else, but usually putting her in her room (from outside) along with a scolding was enough.
Did she play video games?
Haha, thankfully she did not. I have four siblings, so there were already enough fights over who's turn it was. Throw a gaming monkey into the mix and it would've been mayhem.
Did people envy you enough to hate you? I know I would have.
Haha, the response from other kids was usually pretty positive. I didn't find myself with embittered friends or a monkey-owner complex or anything.
The paper boy was a friend of mine, and Abu stole his glasses (she liked chewing off the nose pads). Even then, I don't think he was too upset ;)
One word. Awesome.
I'm not much of an Anthropologist to begin with, but I can't make much of the bones. Is that the skull attached to the vertebrae? if you could get us a clear picture of the skull or the pelvis I might be able to tell you if it's a primate. No promises, I'm just and undergrad.
fellow undergrad anthropologist here. If we can see the pelvis, shoulders, and skull better identifying the remains would be much simpler.
Dude. We're doing forensics. On the internet. With monkeys!
Call Gill Grisom!
Thanks very much. I'm going to see if I can dig up any more images. I believe my mom even kept the bones (she's an odd duck, I know), so maybe I can take some more pics. Might be a couple of days, but thanks in advance for the help.
Did you have a good story worthy of being shared with Penn Gillette on Monkey Tuesday?
I'm not familiar with Penn Gillette or Monkey Tuesday. Aside from her crashing a tea party, which I mentioned, there aren't too many crazy stories. She jumped out of the car while we were driving once (she was fine). We had a house guest who usually kept her door closed, but the one day she left it open Abu got into her make up bag and pulled everything apart. She ran pretty far away one time and a guy mowing his lawn told us he'd had a few drinks but was fairly certain he'd just seen a monkey run by. I don't know if that's Penn-caliber stuff though, because I'm not familiar with the show.
This is a good summary
Some of those stories are awful! I mean, interesting (Tarzan and the little person at the same party), but the monkey hitting the ground and all the certs flying out?! Yowza.
When i went to buy my Rottweiler, up near African Lion Safari, the breeder had a a few monkeys there. Along with an emu, a bobcat and some exotic birds.
Do you know of this place?
I don't believe I do. Sounds neat though.
whats the name of the place?
Wish i could remember. I got my Rottweiler 15 years ago.
All i remember was that they were a very nice Dutch couple, who really loved animals.
If they are still breeding, then you would find them in the Dogs Annual.
Was her name Furious George(ette)?
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No. Furious. From the simpsons. :)
Bah. I hate it when people delete their comments.
Oh no, people will realize I'm not infallible! Must delete before my humanity is proven!
Did you notice that she was unusually strong for her size?
Have you heard about the sad and unfortunate story of Travis? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Travis_%28chimpanzee%29 - And do you have any idea what provoked Travis to randomly attack this women he had seen before?
That sort of shit happens all the time.
Yes, she was extremely strong for her size. She had grown bigger than the monkey in the image shown by the time she died, and was stronger than you'd think.
I hadn't heard the story of Travis before reading that article. Travis is a chimp, which is different, but really, they're both very wild animals. You could show a rubber snake to Abu, and she would absolutely lose her mind, even though she had lived in the wild for only a few days of her life and had likely never even seen a real snake. This is an instinct I simply don't understand. She was very territorial and would often get angry if she was frightened, or sometimes when people laughed very loudly. There could have been similar things that set Travis off, even though he was already familiar with the women he attacked. Difficult to say.
Was your monkey's name Bimbo? I knew a monkey named Bimbo years ago..
No, her name was Abu.
Ha ha, a monkey named Abu who crashed the Tea Party. I bet repeating this story can get you into serious trouble, or immediate acceptance, depending on the crowd.
was s/he your monkey helper?
She didn't do much to help out in the way of daily chores, but she always filed our taxes on time.
Was your family wealthy?
Nope.
I heard of someone who had one also. They claimed that they trained the monkey to do his laundry - any truth to this kind of thing?
Again, I'm not knowledgeable about all monkeys. Obviously some chimps have been trained to do some cool stuff, but I think that sort of thing was out of the realm of possibility for Abu.
Did you keep it in a cage or around the house?
PS Im loving this IAmA section, IAmA digg refugee, and reddit is so much better.
When she was younger, she roamed freely around the house and outdoors. A couple of people complained (understandably, since this was around the time of Ebola scares , so we had to leash her outdoors.
Indoors she ran free until she started getting a little bigger and more destructive, so we'd keep her on a long leash in the living room. We also had a "mud room" where we kept shoes and jackets that we converted into her cage. It had a window, we tiled the walls, and put a cat play house and some plants in there.
When you let her roam freely outside did she stay close to the house? Did she ever try to escape?
She didn't at first, but with age she became more confident and would roam further, which is why we eventually had to leash her.
Our house is in town, but our backyard is basically just an acre of forest with a busier street after that. She once roamed into some yards on that street and cause some damage, including crashing an older woman's tea party.
Amazing visual
I'm loving imagining this monkey raising absolute hell amidst some very surprised older women.
Sooo, would you say you're... digging the IAmA subreddit?
HIYOOOO!
You forgot to put the glasses on!