OB refuses to let me come in for an ultrasound

Honestly for me, scans before 8 weeks do nothing to curb my anxiety. The earliest I will go is 8 weeks and I don't start to get any reassurance until 10-12 weeks.

If you can, I would try to wait as awful as that sounds right now. If you aren’t having any bleeding etc, then the odds are in your favor. The last few days before the appointment are so hard but in reality, you’ll get a much better idea of how everything is going at 8 weeks than at 7. I tried the same thing, except it’s not my dr saying I can’t make an appointment to come in, it’s the receptionist! I tried making an appointment for 8 weeks and she said they were booked. The same for 9 weeks and for 10 weeks she said well, I’ll squeeze you in. . Even though I’ve had multiple miscarriages and I’ve had off and on spotting, once bad enough to go to the er. But funny enough, my sister in law was able to make an appointment on the same day, for the same dr, a couple days later. It’s like she doesn’t think we should be in there more than once a month and just says they’re booked. I’ve done a lot to keep myself distracted (including sleeping) so maybe it would help to go do a hobby that will take up some time.

I’m concerned that you told a medical professional that you’re experiencing life-impacting anxiety and her response is effectively “tough nuggets”. If this were me, I’d be looking for a new OB that listens to me when I tell her what symptoms I’m having. Anxiety is a medical phenomenon, it can’t happen without a chemical reaction, so you’re not making this up— is she suggesting this is “all in your head”? What a profoundly irresponsible philosophy to have on mental health care as a medical doctor.

You could look into a private ultrasound place. They are cutesy boutique places usually but it’s still an ultrasound. My MMC last year was found at one of them. They don’t give out medical advice, but in my experience if something is wrong, they will give you something like, “I’m not seeing what I usually do for how far along you are, you should go see your regular doctor as soon as possible”. They are generally a lot cheaper too. They place I went was $50. The hospital is $599.

If you don’t mind a white lie, try telling them you had red bleeding and want to check that everything is okay. I never asked for an early ultrasound, but ended up going in at 6+6 because I was bleeding the previous day. Ended up seeing the heartbeat and determined the bleeding was likely just from having sex the day before. They may tell you to wait it out anyway, but it’s worth a shot.

I’m surprised she won’t see you earlier since you have a history of ectopic pregnancy. I also had one and lost my right tube. My doctor saw me at 6 weeks, 7 weeks, 10 weeks, then onto a regular schedule. Is this the same doctor you saw before? If not, you might reiterate your history and your fear of losing your fertility due to a repeat ectopic. At 8 weeks it could be too late to save your Fallopian tube, even if it hadn’t ruptured. Sounds like you’re not having any symptoms of ectopic? And chances are you actually are fine and baby is fine. However, I wouldn’t want to take a chance either and I completely understand why you feel you should be seen sooner (I agree with you). So you might look into getting another OB. I would worry that your current provider may not be doing what is in your best interest and that may carry over to the rest of your pregnancy.

Just a word of warning about the boutique ultrasound places for this early in pregnancy, a lot of them advertise a "heartbeat session" BUT they only do transabdominal ultrasounds and this early on a lot / all can be missed via transabdominal so you could end up leaving more anxious than you were before.

In my case, I went to one because they couldn't fit me in and I had just MMC the pregnancy before and just wanted confirmation that all was well, and they told me I was only 5 weeks (when I was over 8) and ended up clueing me in to a blighted ovum.

Doesn’t sound like she’s a wonderful OB. Make an appointment at another clinic. It’s not against the rules to change doctors.

Uhg, I’m sorry that’s so frustrating.

I suppose her thinking is that if you come in earlier there might not be anything to see. In my case, at 7 weeks there was a sac and no heartbeat no visible embryo (which combined with other things made me freak the hell out). But at 8 weeks there was a strong heartbeat and a visible embryo.

I guess her thinking is that there will be more to see at 8 weeks, and if you came in at 7 and didn’t see everything you might be more upset.

But from your point of view (and boy have I been there), you want any and all information you can get right now! It’s hard to say if this is an indicator of whether or not she will be more attentive in the future. I find in general some doctors are less inclined to do the extra stuff in the first trimester, but are better later on.

Go to one of the places for 3D scans. When I went to one, I heard a few from women in the waiting room who had gone there early in pregnancy when their OBs refused to do ultrasounds.

And one woman who had been told by the OB that she had a miscarriage because they couldn't find a heartbeat, but she decided she wanted a keepsake picture of her little bean so she booked a scan for the night before she was set to have a DNC to clean out what the OB called the "leftover tissue." When she came in to the 3D scan place, they found a heartbeat. Her daughter is healthy and 3 now, and she was there for a scan with her second child. She said she has a new OB, too, thankfully.

Similar thing happened to me. Suffered a missed miscarriage at 8.5weeks and have PCOS. Got pregnant again and was worried sick same thing would happen. Tried to make an Appt for 6 weeks and for them to test my progesterone levels as I had a feeling they were low and I would need progesterone supplements to prevent from miscarriage again. They gave me every excuse in the book as to why they couldn’t fit me in until I was 9 weeks. To me that’s too late if progesterone is what I needed. I ended up telling them I had severe cramping and they still couldn’t fit me in sooner even with them knowing my history. I ended up just physically going up to the obgyn office and demanding an Appt. They then magically had one available for the next day....and I was low on progesterone so thank goodness I was persistent or I probably still wouldn’t be pregnant now at 17 weeks.

I would think giving a patient peace of mind would benefit the health of both baby and mom. I mean...if I want to pay an extra co pay and the cost of an ultrasound then let me.

I experienced one miscarriage and that was enough. My last pregnancy I was in labor and delivery some and had over $1,000 in extra cost to my labor. But my fears were eased and that was fine with me

First off I'm sorry you are having to deal with an uncooperative OB that isn't taking your emotional distress seriously.

There might be boutique places where you can get an ultrasound for like 50 bucks in your area if you want. You could also try a different OB or if you really want to you can try the ER or maybe a womens clinic.

I agree with your OB somewhat and you somewhat. I don't think she's seeing that you have a legit medical concern about implantation and frankly I'm shocked that with your history of EP they wouldn't wan't to assure themselves that this wasn't another EP. I think you bring that up to her and say its a serious medical concern not just reassurance and if she cannot cooperate you will find another OB. I agree with her though that constant early ultrasounding is not helpful and creates anxiety unnecessarily in my case. This time around ( after a mmc in july) they began ultrasound at 6 weeks did another at 7 and then another at 8 because the heartbeat was a tiny bit slow at 7 ( sped up) . Each ultrasound for me was just an anxiety trap. I ended up with a hematoma which was meant to be monitored with weekly US until 12 weeks but I'm so glad my OB said to stop them after she saw on dec 23rd that it had shrunk. I asked if I could have one in between and she said no relax and enjoy

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Are you able to go to an emergency room for a scan? I feel that this is technically an emergency since your mental health is suffering. Plus with a history of ectopic pregnancy, I think it would be fine to walk in for a scan just in case.

Do you have a place around you that does the boutique like ultrasounds? You can pay for a non medical ultrasound. That’s what I do when I’m feeling anxious.

I don’t know how it works where you are but I think you’re pretty lucky to get in at 8 weeks.

I know it’s shit and the anxiety is really bad but even after having a loss (granted for me not one that nearly killed me) the NHS won’t let you have an ultrasound just because you are worried something could be wrong. You wait until 12 weeks like everyone else.

I ended up going for two private ultrasounds before the first NHS appointment because I really didn’t want to get my hopes up for so long and find out after 3 months it was over ages ago.

The NHS don’t allow you to come in for an ultrasound until 12 weeks and honestly it’s the best thing ever.