hot take (has this been addressed yet?)
Posted Feb 22, 2020, 5:41 AM UTC
46434
Agreed.
43
I don't think I understand could somebody post an example?
35
If I'm understanding correctly, here's a text example:
Her: Babe, come over.
Him: but I'm eating cake.
Her: my parents aren't home.
Him: Yeah, but do you have cake?
There are much more explicit ones out there, too.
42
I see that more as a misunderstanding joke than one framing the woman as bad. Nowhere in the text does it imply that the woman is in the wrong for wanting to have sex or a relationship or what have you, the joke is that the generally-assumed connotation is flying over the person's head.
80
A worse example:
Her: babe come over I'm horny
Him: but I just made garlic bread
Her: babe I'm really horny though!
Him: but garlic bread
Basically what OP said, making "her" look like an idiot and like "him" has his priorities straight.
I found a gif example!
https://www.reddit.com/r/hmmmgifs/comments/f5q7tz/hmmm/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
14
Tbf with this one though, it's a play on the
"Her: babe, come over
Me: I can't
Her: but I'm alone.
Me: be right there" joke
24
Which in itself is also low key sexist, since it implies that guys are always 100% down for sex. Sexism in, Sexism out.
15
True.
Though I've also seen gay versions, "roles reversed," etc. so, really, you could just change the joke to fit your own situtation.
I've even seen a
Her: come over.
Me: no
Her: I got breadsticks.
Me: rushes over
10
https://www.reddit.com/r/aaaaaaacccccccce/comments/ci6ty9/ace_irl/
https://www.reddit.com/r/aaaaaaacccccccce/comments/dbvbta/ash_knows_whats_up/
https://www.reddit.com/r/aaaaaaacccccccce/comments/f7c8mi/space/
https://www.reddit.com/r/aaaaaaacccccccce/comments/efinyt/this_belongs_here_right/
these are all basically what i'm talking about
23
The examples kind of just show a guy not wanting sex, rather than framing the woman as bad.
56
I’ll be honest, I didn’t think of any of those situations as trying to frame women (or anyone who wants to have sex) as stupid/slutty/cringey. I just saw it as a disconnect between how heterosexual people see the world and how asexual (more specifically aromantic asexual) people see the world.
Now that you mention it, yes it is always the girl who is romantic/sexual in these. I would not be opposed to have memes where the men are the romantic/sexual ones and the women are the ones who are ace.
49
I think the reason is always the women who's sexual is bc those memes aren't made by/for aces. Those memes are made by/for allos with the stereotype in mind that "men want sex, woman don't" so they flip around. Following the stereotype, flipping the genders again wouldn't make as much sense. Can it work? Sure, especially if is made with an ace perspective, but it loses some of the kick.
Personally I don't see a problem. Is just showing that guys(allos) can too care about other things other than sex and gals (allos) can too care about sex.
So yeah, I think people are creating a problem here because they are looking with their asexual goggles.
23
I would not be opposed to have memes where the men are the romantic/sexual ones and the women are the ones who are ace.
In theory, I would also support this. In practice, it is going to be real hard to avoid predatory vibes in any such memes.
17
This is true, I did not think of that.
7
I really don't see a problem with these jokes, they can easily just have the genders switched and still be fine, the only thing is that having the asexual one be a guy is what fits the format (the comic and Ash are already males, and the come over is just s remastering of the "come over" "I can't" "my parents aren't home" speed)
12
I've actually seen a few that fortunately were removed but they were the standard "roasties" humor where they compared women to roast beef sandwiches thanks to the presumed appearance of their genitals thanks to them having sex. I saw another one saying men that end up in relationships with women aren't intelligent. That one got removed fairly soon as well, I took that one as insulting to women in general but also any man that wanted to be in a relationship. Other than that I've seen a few "thot" type posts here and there as well, either for women just wanting to be in an allo relationship or even just aces that are okay with cuddling their partners.
4
This is an important thing to address and I had not thought about it. Thanks for making me think about this!
14
YES.
Also the whole "aces not thinking about sex" taken to the extreme. At some point it's ridiculous to imply that they just never heard of sex. Like, we all live in the real world, right?
13
Idk some of the examples provided are def sexist but some of them i cant help think y'all are overthinking it a bit. Seems to me they are just showing an exagerated example (as memes do) of how an allo person in a relationship might interact with there partner who is unknown to them asexual. Do agree that they are low effort and seriously underestimate how aware an ace person is of sex and sexual innuendos. Not condoning these post (i find them unfunny and annoying) but claiming they are all misogynistic or soley attempting to portray women as slutty/obsessed with romance is going a bit far if you ask me.
11
well, as u/tregorman said in this thread, "It's less about outright misogyny and more about implicitly reenforcing the ideas that misogyny puts forth". it's not an incredibly awful kind of sexism, but leaving it unaddressed is still harmful.
I guess I could have worded it differently by saying something like "they implicitly suggest women's desires about sex and romance are silly, unimportant, and even deserving of mockery", rather than the "stupid/cringey/slutty" i settled on, but that wasn't gonna fit in the template lol
3
Gotcha i can wholeheartedly agree with that sentiment
1
Yes agreed, I had not thought of this either. Thanks for bringing it up. I’m definitely going to pay more attention now and think of implications of posts, not just on this sub, but all the ones I follow.
10
THANK YOU
they're so incel-y and I hate it. and frankly I would love to see some gender reversal of these memes! Throughout all sorts of media women have always been depicted as love obsessed and unable to have deep thoughts. It needs to stop, let women be the quirky ones for a change.
6
This is something I’ve noticed for a while, I completely agree. Thanks for bringing it up.
2
misogyny is against the sub rules, as elaborated in the stickied post. If you see a post that is misogynistic report it and it will be removed
1
It's less about outright misogyny and more about implicitly reenforcing the ideas that misogyny puts forth
6
misogyny
implicitly reenforcing the ideas that misogyny puts forth
I fail to see the difference between these to things...
4
I think the difference is intention
5
Intention is irrelevant. Bigotry is bigotry. Racism is racism. Sexism is sexism. Doesn’t mater what they meant. Same logic is used in the common law doctrine that says ignorance of the law is not an excuse.
3
So glad someone is bringing this up! Thank you. Its strange, sometimes it seems some men assume they cant be misogynist just bc they are asexual.
What I see quite often specifically is this binary shitty idea of "men are predators" and "women are seductive" being ignorantly reinforced by men saying "allo men are predators but i am not so give me a cookie" or "allo women are seductive but i am not affected so give me a cookie". It gives me these r#pe culture shiver down my neck.
yeah! sometimes it's assumed that there's automatically no bigotry in queer spaces, which definitely isn't true.
as for the people here, i think some of this is legit misogyny, but a lot of it is just people not considering this stuff carefully. i'd wager a lot of the people here are women and/or consider themselves feminists! some of the sexism in these memes is hard to notice or pin down. and the memes are easy to find if you're in a lot of mainstream meme subs. that's why i wanted to bring attention to it, cause i think a lot of people just don't realize and mindlessly repost/crosspost/upvote.
Yes! I agree. Thank you for bringing attention to it.