My Life Through Art

This is a nice bold statement in a few bursts of words, like the paint splashing on the paper. Serves as something that could very well appear on a canvas hanging on a wall

I think this poem is so cool. I love the simplicity of it and the way you positioned it to be read. So few words but clearly gets the message across. It feels strong!

I like the simplicity of this and the statement your making. I’d add more substance to it and it looks like you kinda wanted sharper transitions, so I’d work on that too! Edit: I don’t understand the message your portraying here. Could you make it more clear?

I am a big fan of poems that pack a punch like this. I wonder if you can play with the spacing? Like what if you tab over some lines to give it more of a "paint splashing" feel like hamncheese pointed out?

Its short, but it's mostly up for interpretation, I guess. So, here goes- Page, I think means a page in a book you (the artist) are reading. I imagine you have it bookmarked, maybe because it features something enlightening? Drawing parallels to your 'actual' life, I'd say it refers to friends and family, or people that guide you in general. Paper probably refers to some rough sketches of your painting and what you want it to look like- i.e. dreams and aspirations. The rest is well, just laid out. I'd say you could definitely streamline what you want the reader to think. There isn't much to say about word choice or theme- it's practically out there. To put it bluntly, it's just very simple and basic. The theme is almost overused at this point by most artists (that includes writers, of course.) I don't mind that, but you don't really do much to add anything to the theme. It's very one-dimensional.

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Good luck and keep writing!

I generally don't comment on pieces like this. They tend to trek through a realm of vagueness that is often found when people begin writing poetry for cathartic purposes. Not that that is a bad thing, at all. I encourage it, but I don't generally enjoy it. They tend to be much more raw and personal.

But there's something about the way this is broken up and formatted.

There seems to be a duality in the mix. Perhaps that is your intention, perhaps not, but it seems like this is three couplets.

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Page and paper,
A canvas

My mind -
The paint.

My life:
The artist.

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But there's a different punctuation used for each setup in the first line of each couplet. The last two punctuation are pretty much interchangeable.

The first couplet, on the other hand, reads as if a 'page and paper' = 'a canvas', but the punctuation indicates two separate items: 'page and paper' grouped as one, 'a canvas' as another.

The page and paper are likely representative of the pages in the book of life and the paper it is written on. The canvas is a separate object, one that relates to the book of life.

In which case, the paint in the second couplet is representative of perspective. The way the character views the events of life in their mind as it is painted onto the canvas. You, after-all, don't paint the book of life. It writes itself as you go about life.

Your life as the artist in the third couplet would be the character obsessing over that perspective, which may or may not be reality. It is however, the way it is conveyed.

Exactly what the significance of this notion means to the character is not specified. But it is an interesting idea that is conveyed inside of what seems to be a vague notion at first glance.

Also, sorry if this shows weird. I was trying to use Shift-Enter to erase the space between the lines, but ended up hitting ctrl-enter a few times, which submits, so I had to edit this a few times.