What are good techniques for not taking things personally?

God, why do you always have to ask me?

Simple. Walk a mile in the other person's shoes. Then you'll be a mile away from them, and have their shoes.

Seriously, though... envision where the other person is coming from and what they are trying to get accomplished. This turns your focus to external issues, and not yourself. Usually when people take things personally it has something to do with that person being too focused on themselves (I've been there!).

Also, give people the benefit of the doubt. You don't know if they had a shitty morning, if their toilet flooded as they were leaving the house, their dog died, or something else. Just don't take it too far... if they are truly being nasty, repeatedly, it's not behavior you should tolerate.

Another way to turn your focus away from you is to remember that if they are being nasty, or accusatory, that it reflects on THEM much more than it reflects on YOU.

TLDR: Try to stop focusing on yourself, and instead focus on the problem that needs solving.

Instead of focusing on the negative criticism of one person focus on the positive or neutral criticism from everyone else, everyone is entitled to an opinion some of them will be negative. In your entire life and relationship with this person this one comment is relatively meaningless.

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Grow up in a large family... Worked for me.

Try to rationalize everything that happens. If someone tells you something, and you take it personally, take a deep breath and try to figure out if they actually mean it personally. Try to make a list of things that happened and what could be a possible reason for the person to say the thing they are saying. Also try to tell yourself that it probably wasn't ment personal. Instead of trying to proof in your head why it could be personal, try finding things why it's not personal.

Just realize that almost everybodys actions are delivered through selfish desires. All you have to do is rationalize!

Just stop worrying about what other people think of you, because they aren't you and their opinions amounts to nil.

Hear them saying whatever in cartoon voices. Imagine them done up as cartoon characters as well.

Remember it's all a game. Used to be a cop now I'm in sales (money's much better), taking things personally is the number 1 reason people get so burnt out and psychologically fucked up in both professions.

All things can be drilled down to a math equation - i.e. if I make 100 client contacts today 98 people are going to say no, and 2 might say yes.

Prepare yourself in advance as to why not to take that personally. There's an infinite number of excuses why someone will probably say "no I'm not interested", and only a handful of reasons why they will say "yes". It's easier to focus on those few reasons.

This applies to almost everything not just sales like asking someone out, getting a job, pitching an idea to your boss, it's an attitude more than it is a set of rules. If you lay aside taking it personally, you'll naturally be more confident in yourself and what your doing. They'll say yes or they'll say no, you respond accordingly.

I think the reason people take things so personally is that they're always trying to find a way validate themselves in a decision process. They might think "If they say no, I must have done something wrong" or "I failed" and when inevitably someone does say no it fulfilled these fears.

There is always an out of your control circumstance that you'll have to overcome to get the sale, the job, the date, or your boss to say yes to a project idea. Take it for granted there will always be objections, questions, and people who will try to tear you down. Always seek out the answers to the objections and questions, peers who support you, and remember above all, it's nothing personal.

I usually ignore negative things people say because if someone has to bring others down to make themselves feel better then their life must really suck!

You don't exist, so taking things personally would further enslave you to a lie. Of course, your ego will still take things personally, but at least you can see that you are not your ego.

Alright. Sit down. Are you sitting? Good. Now listen. STOP IT! Just, STOP IT!

somewhere, on the other side of the earth, there is a guy, his name is john, and he really think that you are a fucking moron and a loser!

now, how does that make you feel? you dont give a shit, right? well thats the spirit. sometime john is a little bit closer to home, but that doesnt change the fact that what he thinks/says of you only has the influence that you grant it.

TL;DR: you, and only you, decide the people whose opinions matter to you.

When working at a restaurant we had a lot of really rude customers, people who would say offensive or mean things for no reason. I just reminded myself that if they're being mean to someone who's shown them nothing but a smile and asked how their day was going, they really must be having either an awful day or are just generally unhappy people.

When it's a little more personal, J. Russell Lynes has a great quote: “If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't laugh it off, it's probably deserved.”

Pretend you are watching a character (you) in a movie. Advise that character from your seat in the theater.

I think of quotes like this: "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." - Plato or "Engrave this on your heart: there isn't anyone you couldn't love once you'd heard their story." - Mary Lou Kownacki

I remind myself that everyone is going through their own shit. Most negative things that people say to you are a reflection of what they're dealing with. If someone snaps at me, for example, it's probably because they're having a rough day. I try to remember that it probably doesn't have to do with me at all.

Of course, another thing that helps is having a solid sense of who you are. If you know who you are, you know what you should actually consider as a valid criticism and what is likely a result of someone else's insecurities.

What does that even mean? To not take something personally?

How about.....you don't take it fucking personal. Shit if you have to ask how to do it you won't ever be able to.