Show him the light
Show him the sun
"He has no right
No reason to complain"
"They've been through it
They've suffered it all"
"He's not the first"
How does that help him at all
Is there a cure
Guide him, someone, please
He's not pleading or begging
But I know he seeks
A helping hand
A comforting soul
If he could just get up
I'd tell him he doesn't have to go
Posted Jun 25, 2020, 4:59 PM UTC
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I felt this so hard. I’m amazed how so few words can hold such thorough descriptions and sorrow. Very well done!
...what words? How did the poet do what you're saying?
I really like the criticism you make on how society comments on depressed people.
"He has no right
No reason to complain"
As in, "you have no reason to feel depressed because you have a roof over your head and food on your plate". I've felt like that before.
The poem evoked in me a sadness and a certain want to help. It feels as if you are pleading or begging throughout the poem which makes it really heart-wrenching. I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope you can canalize what you are feeling through poetry just like you did with this piece.
Yes you understood the criticism on the society precisely. Poetry definitely helps anyone get through tougher times. It's a great way to let your feelings out and helps you understand them even better. So glad you guys are loving this work. Thanks a lot!!!!
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This is so moving to me. The tone implies a sense of desperation and urgency, but this still feels very sacred and reverent. The idea of a person needing guidance after they die is common in many religions, where death is not an end but a beginning, and suicide is sometimes seen as complicating that, thus the urgent feelings of “If he could just get up”, “guide him someone, please”. It illustrates the powerlessness of this situation for me. Beautiful, heartbreaking work.
Very well said, it feels urgent, yet in a way helpless. I would relate it to how a river moves, fiercely gushing through mountains, yet not being able to choose its path, just flowing helplessly along the inevitable path carved for it, and after a while, it calms down. And one day, it might even dry up.
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Writing from the soul is my favorite. I love this because while you paid attention to the techniques and rhythm, more than anything you let it flow, and that’s what will always shine through in writing.
This is beautiful. Truly. Those last two lines are goosebumps worthy and I like that the title is what contextualises it properly. The use of quotations feels very fitting and I'd like to say well done.
There are a couple of clunky moments. For example, the repetition of "all" at the end of two lines that are quite close together reads a bit y strangely to me. That being said, really beautiful all in all
Those quotes really hit me hard because I imagine such a certain personality type saying them...older people who try to find false reason in everything and explain things that don’t need explaining. How would they, these shallow-minded mongrels who only care for money and small talk, know the great depths of this sensitive person? They don’t. I imagine my boomer grandparents telling me that my sorrows aren’t justified, because “everyone is so sensitive nowadays and life used to be much harder.” FUCK that! Artists have always been sensitive, and those who really know love are often times the most vulnerable to things.
There’s this song I’ve been listening to for the last two days called “Winter” by Bayside and their chorus says “An angel got his wings, And we'll hold our heads up knowing that he's fine. We'd all be lucky to have a love like that in a lifetime.”
That’s what this reminded me of. Stay strong.
I am depressed but not suicidal. This poem hits me so hard. I love how you have included different view points, one yours and then the people who complains about someone who says s/he's depressed or someone who committed suicide.
I am sorry for your lose. That last 2 lines are so heartbreaking.
I'm not much of a poetry guy, but this is powerful because of its simplicity. There's a difference between technical prowess and expressive prowess...
That's heady. What I mean is that I've been a musician for a decade, and I was always impressed by the flute players who could whiz up and down every scale a sixteenth note at a time. By the drummers who's heads were so full of subdivisions that my head spun just looking at their music.
They were technically impressive....
But it's the simple stuff that makes me cry. Simple melodies that can capture feelings and emotions....
This is one of those. Your succinct style is an asset, keep it up.
Sorry for your loss.
Oh my gosh this tugged my heartstrings. I know a person who tried this but I got the chance to tell them all the things you wish you could have done. Great poem.
Might be a stretch but is it related to sushant singh?
Inspired. Yes.
I thought so :(
RIP Sushant
The simplicity of this poem is what makes it a defining piece. As I was reading it I could feel the pace picking up, almost to an end. Whether that be a positive or negative end I think is up to the reader. I could see it in a positive way as if you are going to help your friend come out of their slump. However, I could see it in a negative way in which he doesn't listen, hence the title, had already committed suicide. This feels like you are replaying ways in which you could helped the individual and reliving the past. Overall great job!
The idea is that the person who committed suicide reminds you of the severity of mental illnesses and the pain that the people go through, that they're never able to ask for help but deep down that's exactly what they need. Events like these could make you feel helpless but you should remind yourself of all those who still need your help. What's gone is gone but maybe you can save another precious life.
I see! I think there are two perspectives in this poem, which is what makes it a relatable piece. I you were to do it from just either perspective, it would lose a lot of the message behind it. Having that back and forth between the individual who is in need and the individual willing to provide help strengthens the individual in need's perspective drastically.
That makes sense. I guess a poem is best left to a reader's own perspective. That way they can perceive it the way they can relate to it.
Oh... my.. I love this very much. Very nice cadence and rhyme.
The dialogue here too is touching and vital as well for your message (e.g., how people should handle suicide or suicidal ideation with care).
I volunteer as a crisis counselor so this is important to me too.
With ever increasing suicide rates, the message in the poem becomes all the more relevent. In societies and culture, where being depressed is not an illness but laziness should re-target their focus and not turned a blind eye on this problem.
Wow this hit way to close to home. I myself have felt extreme self loathing for being guilty about being sad so this poem really conveys this.
First of all, I really enjoyed reading this. The use of quotation marks really adds to the flow, and I appreciate the transition from quotes to lyric-self expression (specifically the all -> all rhyme, which does a great job in my opinion, of illustrating the different attitudes towards totality)
I just wanna say, one gripe I have is the first two lines, which I personally think do not match the strength of the rest of the poem. I think there is a more powerful image there, and also something that you can relate back to later in the poem. This is just a minor problem I have though. The poem is very good.